Psst! Parents gone, party on!

Oh, the dog days of parental vacations! I’m reminded, as I am fully conscious at 12:30 this morning listening to the raucous noise up the hill from my bedroom window, of the days in South County when I was a youth in search of vacationing adults with great party houses.

Those days are back. The weather is warm and inviting for poolside kickin’ it while the parents of a friend of a friend are in Hawaii. The teens of the southland are going to hate me for ratting them out, but what the heck, I’m close to old and getting more and more narc-like.

You know who you are. Yes, to the ones who are left behind from the family vacation to work your summer job, inviting a few friends over sounds like a good idea. A couple of calls and the friends are welcomed to join the celebration. And those friends tell a few more friends and so on and so forth until the whole of South County teens knows THE party is up on the hill. Cool, no parents.

Yeah, I remember the host teen getting more and more worried as the friends don’t look familiar at the door and the kegs start arriving. One of our mid-1980s out-of-hand parties in Holiday Lake Estates ended up with a liquid soap fight in the house! Full bottles of Dawn squirt mighty far.

One hint to inexperienced teenage party givers: have the party a few days before your parents come home to allow time for major cleanup or construction workers to come in and replace drywall.

My two sons started learning the lessons of raucous-induced damage cover-up early in life. The bronze Irish dancer on the coffee table appeared to be leaning slightly cockeyed when at closer inspection I noticed her leg had a new seam down near her clog. The boys could hear my steam starting to blow when the excuses started to pile up from the guilty parties.

Something about an indoor soccer match, failed goal tending, etc. In the case of the party on the hill Sunday night, the damage had the potential for neighborhood cover ups if they followed through on their traditional no-parent nights of teeing off on their back lawn and showering golf balls down on the houses below.

Second hint for inexperienced teenage party givers: don’t involve the neighbors; they undoubtedly have been given your parent’s vacation contact number. Instead, buy them tickets to a double feature movie (and popcorn). That $100 investment will be worth it.

As for me, it’s family vacations until my children are through graduate school. And Uncle Tom, quit telling them what naughty things you accomplished as a teenager. They don’t need any ideas!

Ciao for now.

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