All is Bright

Christmas has been a sticking point in our house for over a decade, and we’re at a stalemate.
 No, it’s not because I’m Jewish and he’s Episcopalian. In fact, neither of us is especially observant of our respective religions. I’ve been known to decorate a tree with gusto and he has brought home some beautiful menorahs.   
 Only a licensed electrician can help us resolve this issue, but frankly, I’m just not willing to sign off on this project, especially after a couple of $500.00 plus holiday electric bills, already.
 Our first Christmas spent in our new house back in 2004, had The Husband beyond excited at the thought of dressing his house a la Christmas Vacation’s own Clark W. Griswold.
 He envisioned that he, like Clark, would have so many (working) lights, that     PG & E would have to hit the auxiliary button just to light up the Sinons’ end of town, after he plugged in the master plug, that would illuminate the neighborhood, and those surrounding, with no less than 500,000 mini twinkle lights.
 He would often come home from work, carrying and attempting to hide, several bags of lights and snaking extension cords, eliciting a raised eyebrow from me.
 Late November is staging time, when all the decorations are brought down from the high shelves and then begins the “Annual Light Stringing and Swearing Ceremony”, as many a fuse is blown. 
  The Husband is convinced that the builder of our house had no Christmas spirit, as there are only two outlets on the outside of the entire house; one in the front and the other in the back. 
 Now, you might say, “You can’t even use that outlet for decorating, since it’s in the back.” 
 A maze of thick orange cord, surge protectors, timers, and plug strips would prove you wrong.
 This where we run into our push/pull. He wants more outlets. I want less lights. I prefer an elegant, understated Christmas. He prefers Christmas Light Explosion and Decoration-Palooza.
 For his birthday every year, he asks me for more outlets. He gets homemade massage coupons and an ice cream cake. Luckily, he can be distracted with ice cream cake, but I fear he’s getting wise to me, as I have yet to make good on the drawer full of coupons.  
 Since Christmas is a month later, he asks for the outlets again as his gift. Don’t tell him, but he’s starting to wear me down. This may be the year he gets his ultimate Yuletide wish.
Email Kelly Sinon at [email protected]

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