My neighbor Nelson Gabbard is now in the midst of the winter of
his years. At age 83, the Morgan Hill man has enjoyed a life of
changing seasons. He’s had a joyous spring of childhood, a vibrant
summer of young adulthood and an autumn of middle age.
My neighbor Nelson Gabbard is now in the midst of the winter of his years. At age 83, the Morgan Hill man has enjoyed a life of changing seasons. He’s had a joyous spring of childhood, a vibrant summer of young adulthood and an autumn of middle age. Now he faces his final season before arriving at what his Christian faith leads him to believe will be a new and eternal spring. We discussed the transitions of our earthly existence last Sunday morning in Nelson’s den. I was helping him pack books into boxes to be donated to the Morgan Hill Friends of the Library. The next day, Nelson planned to move into Lincoln Glen Manor, an assisted living home in San Jose’s Willow Glen district. Although he is mentally sharp, he has an incurable auto-immune disease requiring him to have continuous care.
One of the den’s bookshelves held a framed wedding portrait of a young couple beginning a new life together. The pair would be married for 61 years. Looking at the photograph, I realized that the newlyweds could have no idea what the coming decades would bring them. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to death do us part, they saw their upcoming lives together as an incredible adventure. Nelson told me that the man and woman in the picture held a philosophy that “Happiness is being married to your best friend.”
How did these two people come to find their lives intertwined, you might wonder. No doubt fate had a hand in setting up their future. Their story started with a sadness that led to great joy.
“During World War II, I was in Africa in the Air Force flying missions into Italy and southern France,” my neighbor told me. “My father had a hardwood lumber mill in northwest Arkansas. I got a letter one day that said dad had injured himself so he had to sell the mill.”
Nelson’s brother lived in San Jose. The letter said that the family would be moving out west to live with him there in the South Bay city. Hearing this news, Nelson felt devastated at the sudden change of circumstances his family faced.
“My response was, when I go home, I’m not going home,” he said, recalling his gloomy reaction to the news.
When Nelson returned to America at the close of the war and met his family in their Northern California home, he faced the fact that he had to adjust to a whole new world. The Bay Area was far different than the Arkansas farm town he had grown up in. But in this new world, he soon met a pretty young woman from Palo Alto.
Her name was Bonnie Mae Zumwalt and she attended San Jose High School. The two fell in love and married on June 16, 1946. They had two children, a daughter named Donna and a son named Tom. And over the years, grandchildren came, too.
“You know, there’s a lot of what-ifs in life,” Nelson told me. “All of us have a lot of what-ifs if we look back. If certain things hadn’t happened, if I hadn’t come out to California, I would never have met Bonnie. I’ve thought a lot about that. What if dad had not been injured? What if they had not made the move? My life would have been totally different.”
Last Oct. 25, Bonnie died after battling cancer for more than a year. She was 79. On Nov. 4, her ashes were inurned at the Oak Hill Cemetery in San Jose. Nelson’s life once again changed dramatically.
“I felt that when Bonnie had left, my life had left because Bonnie was my life,” Nelson told me.
During the last few weeks, he has been preparing for his move from his townhouse in Morgan Hill to the Lincoln Glen Manor. He told me he looks forward to the new adventure, and says that Bonnie will accompany him in his heart to his new home.
“I have so many happy memories,” he said. “Those memories are the essence of my existence right now as I wait for my time. And so as I recall those things, I relive those moments Bonnie and I shared together. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t continue to enjoy my adventure with Bonnie.”
As winter begins this weekend, it’s good to consider that a life well lived can not exist without a series of changes. Just like the progression of spring, summer, autumn and winter, it’s only natural. Just ask my neighbor Nelson.
