Part of America’s remarkable diversity is the large number of
families who represent interfaith marriages. It has been estimated
that as many as 60 percent of Roman Catholics are married to
non-Catholics, 50% of Jews to non-Jews.
Part of America’s remarkable diversity is the large number of families who represent interfaith marriages. It has been estimated that as many as 60 percent of Roman Catholics are married to non-Catholics, 50% of Jews to non-Jews. Recognizing the discomfort this situation can cause the individuals involved, two of South County’s religious leaders have begun offering a program specifically focused on marriage between Christians and Jews.
“Hand in Hand Across the Red Sea” was developed by the Rev. Ted Pecot, pastor of the Morgan Hill United Methodist Church, and Rabbi Yitzhak Miller of Congregation Emeth, South County’s Reform Jewish Community.
Last April the initial workshop was presented to five local couples representing Christian and Jewish traditions. The people involved were all married or engaged and valued the differences between their religious traditions but wanted to have some place to talk through some of the issues that come up. Hand in Hand offered an opportunity to look at their situations from a new perspective and gain some insight into their religious identities.
Part of the program concerned discussion of three biblical texts which relate to intermarriage. According to Pastor Pecot, “The first two set the context of the normative views of intermarriage from the two religions. The reading from the book of Ezra, pointed out the problem faced by Jews when they returned to Jerusalem after the Babylonian exile because of the intermixing that had occurred among the Jews who had remained behind.
A “bibliodrama” gave participants a chance to act out the passage from Genesis dealing with Joseph’s marriage to a foreigner while in Egypt and Jacob’s reaction to it.
The second passage was from First Corinthians in which Paul discusses the duty of a Christian to attempt conversion of a non-Christian spouse.
The third passage, from Genesis, presents something in the middle, a mixture. In this instance a “bibliodrama” gave participants the chance to act out the section in Genesis dealing with Joseph’s marriage to a foreigner while in Egypt and Jacob’s reaction to this marriage.
The two-hour workshop also included case studies representing contemporary problems through short dialogues followed by provocative discussion questions.
“he December Dilemma” focused on a Jewish man who tries to dissuade his Christian wife from displaying a Christmas tree in their home.
“Shabbos” was about a Christian husband who wants to stay home on Friday night instead of accompanying his wife and children to the synagogue for the weekly Shabbat service.
At the close of the workshop participants were given two questionnaires to answer, one from his/her own point of view and one projecting answers the mate would give. These 25 answers gave a profile of religious views and values.
People often marry at a time in their lives when their religious faith is relatively unimportant to them, and their passion for each other may make it seem like they can easily solve any problems which arise. But with time, and especially the birth of children, they often begin to find that religious traditions take on increasing importance. Frustration may result, and a course like Hand in Hand can offer clarity about the problems they face and resources to develop new ways of seeking solutions to families’ divided religious loyalties.
Pastor Pecot and Rabbi Miller look forward to offering Hand in Hand Across the Red Sea again if couples in the South County community feel this workshop would help them in their relationships. Their contact numbers are Morgan Hill United Methodist Church at 779-4044 and Congregation at 847-4044.
Chuck Flagg teaches English at Mt. Madonna High School. Write him c/o The Dispatch, P.O. Box 22365, Gilroy, CA 95021.
