Last week, baseball player Frank Francisco threw a chair into
the stands and broke a fan’s nose. I have one question for Mr.
Francisco:
Was your mother watching
Last week, baseball player Frank Francisco threw a chair into the stands and broke a fan’s nose. I have one question for Mr. Francisco:
Was your mother watching?
Look, from the time a boy learns to walk, he learns to throw. This is why you always hear the mother of a male toddler repeating the mantra, “don’t throw that.” I don’t think Mr. Francisco’s mom was an exception. For all mothers, once our darling baby boys learn to carry themselves around the house on two legs anything remotely resembling a ball is banished from the house.
Unless you’re an idiot
like me.
Now, you’d think I would have figured it out. I mean, Junior’s fourth word was “ball.” (His first, second and third were “eat,” “daddy” and finally, after much prodding, lots of careful teaching and tons of begging, my son said “mama.” I scared the heck out of him by screaming “whoo-hoo” and dancing around the kitchen. It was months before he said it again. I think he was afraid.)
Anyway, Junior never did differentiate between what was a ball and what was simply an object light enough to be thrown across the living room. No, once my son was mobile, it was a free-for-all in our house. Things were thrown, tossed and never, ever caught – apparently catching isn’t a skill that comes when you learn to walk. So I spent a long time repeating over and over “don’t throw that.” I spent even more time trying to intercept whatever was being thrown before it went through the window.
And stupidly, I kept thinking that a toddler would someday understand the difference between the decorative wooden balls on the living room table and the light, rubber balls in his toy box. Let me tell you, Junior is 8-years-old, and I STILL don’t think he understands the difference.
But throwing balls in the house is completely different from a grown man throwing a chair at a fan. That action reeks of bad sportsmanship – which is one more thing we parents try to teach our kids.
We go to our children’s soccer games and say things like “it’s not if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” We give pep talks at gymnastics about people who do their best, no matter how many times they slip off the pommel horse. We cheer for our kids, not caring if they strike out. And we teach our children to win – and lose – with grace.
But all that effort is put to the test when our children see someone like Frank Francisco throw a chair.
Unfortunately, it’s not just Frank Francisco who tests good sportsmanship. It’s people like the coach on Junior’s little league team years ago who figured it was okay to yell at one team member – his son. Even worse, there are coaches who don’t just yell at their kids – they yell at everyone, other coaches, players, referees, parents.
Sure there are some great coaches – and I’m positive they outnumber the screaming ones. Junior’s soccer coach last spring was wonderful. He taught the kids to play the game and to play well – but most importantly he taught them the whole point of playing was to play “beautiful soccer.” He taught sportsmanship by example. Once, when a team showed up with only six players and Junior’s showed up with more, the coach “lent” the opposing team some of the players from Junior’s team. That way, they could have a level playing field.
That’s sportsmanship. And it’s in direct contrast to another game Junior played, where seven members of his team showed up and 11 showed for the other team. The other coach refused to just play seven on seven, even though she had a clear advantage in that she could substitute and give tired players a rest. Her team won – but at what price? The price of sportsmanship.
So the next time you are running through the house saying “don’t throw that,” remember you are teaching your children much, much more than just “don’t throw that vase at the dog.” You are teaching your children sportsmanship. It starts young. But hopefully, it will follow them everywhere in life.
