How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Why don’t sharks eat
lawyers? What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the
ocean?
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Why don’t sharks eat lawyers? What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
OK, so you’ve heard those (if not: his lips are moving, professional courtesy and a good start), but the message is so clear from these classic jokes: lawyers are shysters so unscrupulous that they aren’t much better than crooks – or IRS agents.
In the scheme of things, lawyers are generally considered right down there with used car salesmen and, ahem, journalists. (Although, in the interest of fairness, according to an August 2007 article by U.S. News and World Report, journalists rank lower than lawyers on a list of most prestigious careers). But hey, at least journalists don’t have an entire genre of jokes devoted to them.
But here’s the thing: Even if we know what to throw to a drowning lawyer (his partners), some of our most beloved characters in pop culture have come from the courtrooms.
Atticus Finch defended Tom Robinson and fought the good fight in “To Kill A Mockingbird.” Fred Gailey saved Kris Kringle from the nuthouse in “Miracle On 34th Street.” Denzel Washington’s homophobic Joe Miller took on the system for Tom Hank’s wrongfully dismissed Andrew Beckett in “Philadelphia.” And who could forget busty paralegal Erin Brockovich, Vinny and his “yoots,” Perry Mason, Matlock, Ally McBeal, Matt Murdock or Denny Crane?
George Clooney’s Michael Clayton is the newest entrant into the pantheon of legal eagles. A “fixer,” “bagman” or “janitor” lawyer who operates in the shadows to make problems go away for high-priced clients, the title character of the new legal thriller – along with his colleague, played by Tom Wilkinson – re-examines his conscience while representing a nefarious weedkiller company. In the process, Clooney and Wilkinson deliver excellent performances that will likely nab them some award nominations.
So what is it about lawyers that make them simultaneously revered and reviled more than those in nearly any other vocation?
Generally, I think it’s the promise and potential of what a lawyer can be. There exists this ideal personification of a lawyer that’s both street-savvy and book-smart. A lover of the laws of this land who will engage in a cat-and-mouse game of chess to snare a wrongdoer, protect the innocent and uphold truth, justice and all that. Sort of like an intellectual superhero with a tie, briefcase and a copy of the Constitution.
Then there’s the reality many people have experienced where there exists only three lawyer jokes – because the rest are true stories. I kid, but there is something to it when the popular perception is that attorneys are clogging the system, only interested in seeking justice for the highest bidder or better at finding ways to break the laws than honor them.
Of course, it’s easy to vilify lawyers, but not all of these stereotypes are true. I’m not going to defend them either, since they can ably do that themselves. Instead, the truth lies somewhere in between, where the noble and ruthless both exist.
But as long as we have Atticus Finchs or Michael Claytons in fiction, real-life legal eagles haven’t completely lost the public relations battle. There’s still hope for the profession. We want them to be the heroes we see in pop, and it’s probably worth some lawyers taking a few billable hours off to figure out why they aren’t as close to their fictional counterparts.
Then the next step is to convince politicians to do the same with their better, big-screen representations. Which reminds me, what do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
