”
And the sign said,
‘Long-haired freaky people need not apply,’
So I tucked my hair up under my hat
And I went in to ask him why.
He said, ‘You look like a fine upstanding young man
I think you’ll do.’
So I took off my hat
Said ‘imagine that:
Hey, me working for you.’
”
– ‘Signs, Signs,’ by the Five Man Electrical Band
“And the sign said,
‘Long-haired freaky people need not apply,’
So I tucked my hair up under my hat
And I went in to ask him why.
He said, ‘You look like a fine upstanding young man
I think you’ll do.’
So I took off my hat
Said ‘imagine that:
Hey, me working for you.'”
– ‘Signs, Signs,’ by the Five Man Electrical Band
I love that song. It used to have more meaning to me before my recent haircut. As I mentioned, the photo you see is my new look after 16 years as one of those “long-haired freaky people.”
I am getting used to the hairstyle, although it’s taking others longer to recognize me. I had some women scold me for getting rid of my long locks. Where were they when I had it long?
Others paid compliments that I have to really think about. Here are some I heard: “Hey, you look 100 percent better!” “Did you have an extreme makeover?” Makeover? Yes. Extreme? Yikes!
Am I going anywhere with this? The answer is no. I am still mourning and experiencing separation anxiety – just kidding, my friends.
Actually, the point I am trying to make is that a book cannot be judged by its cover, nor should a wine be judged by its label or price.
Discussions about wine often revolve around price. Does a higher price indicate higher quality? The answer is yes and no. Not the definitive answer you were hoping for, but let me explain.
Many things can control or affect the price of wine. For example, the average cost per bottle of wine stored in used French oak barrels is around 90 cents. If the wine is aging in only new French oak barrels, the cost goes up to around $2.50 per bottle.
A number of factors can affect the price in any given year, such as weather, location of the vineyard, rarity of the vines, time spent aging and storing the wine, amount of wine produced, and whether the grapes were harvested by machine or by hand.
Wine labels often tell a lot about the wine you are consuming. Let’s condense this into three categories that might help explain this a little better by hypothetically comparing chardonnays from California.
In the first category, the label might read “California chardonnay,” with no particular region or vineyard producing all of the grapes. In other words, the winery making this wine could be getting grapes from vineyards all over California. Because the supply of grapes is abundant, these types of wine tend to be produced in larger quantities, and the cost is relatively low. This does not mean the wine is bad.
In the second category, the label might read “Santa Clara chardonnay,” with the indication that all the grapes came from vineyards in Santa Clara, but not from one particular source or vineyard. Obviously, the amount of grapes needed to make this wine is limited, so wine in this category is produced in lesser quantities and the cost is slightly higher.
The last category is wine that comes from one vineyard, one vintage or a vineyard that is controlled by the winery. Estate and vintner’s reserve are often used to describe these types of wine. Some of the factors I mentioned above could affect the yield the vineyard is able to produce. Higher susceptibility to those factors tends to mean higher prices.
With all this said, this does not mean that across the board a $20 bottle of wine will taste twice as good as a $10 bottle. Not everyone will have that other-worldly, mind-blowing experience with a $100 bottle.
Simply put, keep trying a variety of wines, and let your taste decide what is right for you.
OK, now onto my poetic license from last week’s
column.
I was at the Gilroy Bowl several days ago interviewing someone for this column. As dinner was coming to a close, I noticed this woman at the bar giving me the eye – not the finger, the eye. She motioned for me to join her. Not wanting to be rude, I accepted.
Now, I am not passing judgment on her appearance, but she looked a little worse for the wear and reminded me of Witch Hazel. She obviously had been drinking – again, she was interested in me.
After she had a couple more drinks, she leaned over and whispered in a gravely voice, “Do you wanna make my husband jealous?”
I sat there for a minute, contemplating the moment. I responded, “Sure, I want to make your husband jealous.”
So, we slinked over to a dark corner, I took off my belt – and I hung myself!
(Come on, that’s funny!)
Cheers!
