When I was in high school, I felt shy and out of place. It
didn’t matter that I was in the full bloom of youth’s glory; it’s
only looking back now in old photo albums that I can see that in
reality I was a slim young woman with no extra weight to worry
about.
When I was in high school, I felt shy and out of place. It didn’t matter that I was in the full bloom of youth’s glory; it’s only looking back now in old photo albums that I can see that in reality I was a slim young woman with no extra weight to worry about. But I felt huge, ugly, stupid and afraid that no one liked me. I was always on a diet, even at 5 foot 9 inches and 120 pounds.
I kept a daily journal of every bite I ate, and like many girls today, I had memorized the calorie count of nearly every food known to humankind.
The one place I really felt a sense of belonging was in my choral class. I looked forward to that class so much, and the progress I made there was a great boost to my self-esteem. I couldn’t believe I had passed the audition to become the final soprano chosen for choral ensemble the year a trip to Hawaii was planned! To work toward the goal of Hawaii, well, that was just a dream come true, since my family never had the money to go anyplace like that. The ensemble worked together as a group selling candy; rolling newspapers to recycle; singing at private schools, at ladies’ teas and in malls. We fundraised more than $20,000, but each family still had to contribute $400 – a seemingly astronomical sum for my family.
I was afraid my mom would say I couldn’t go, so I wrote her a letter in which I promised to give up all birthday and Christmas gifts for the rest of my life. I’d do anything to be able to go on this trip. I don’t know how she came up with the money, but to my amazement, she said yes. All year we rehearsed and worked to get ready. We went through an official adjudication process, so that we might discover our weaknesses and make improvements before competition.
When I got on that airplane, it was my first time in the air. I held my breath as the wheels left the runway, convinced we would plunge into the ocean at any moment. It was so astonishing to be up in the sky, to slip the confines of my little world in Salinas and soar above the heavens. We were performing at the Waikiki Bowl in Honolulu in something called the International Music Festival. We were there by invitation only; we had to audition on tape. Once there, we competed against groups from all over the world. At a big awards dinner the final night, our group was announced as the first-place winner. Never had I been a part of something so excellent, nor worked so hard to achieve something with others as part of a year-long team effort. Nothing else in my high school years taught me as much as that experience.
It was thanks to the music program in my school and the chorus I joined in junior high that I was able to discover a whole different world out there. It was thanks to music that my mind was opened to the diversity of people around the world – from an Australian bush pilot to the native Hawaiians we had breakfast with – my horizons began to expand. It was thanks to music that I learned the way that a group of people can work together towards a goal and achieve what seems impossible. (Next week, more about music and one of Gilroy’s most dedicated music teachers).
