This Mother’s Day was particularly sweet for me because my
mother is still alive. After a heart problem was discovered seven
months ago when she went in for breast cancer surgery, the cardiac
surgeon told us that my mom’s main coronary arteries were almost
100 percent blocked.
This Mother’s Day was particularly sweet for me because my mother is still alive. After a heart problem was discovered seven months ago when she went in for breast cancer surgery, the cardiac surgeon told us that my mom’s main coronary arteries were almost 100 percent blocked. We were told that only 20 percent of her heart was still working and that only a small opening in one artery was keeping her alive.
Needless to say, this was a shock to us because my mom had never exhibited any symptoms of heart trouble – no pain, weakness, faintness, dizziness, confusion, blurred vision, or tiredness. She was still working full time and lifting 60-pound handicapped children everyday. Yet here was a specialist telling us that there was nothing any doctor could do, nothing she could do, no hope of getting better, and that she would die any day. “Frankly,” he said to her as she was lying in the hospital bed, “You should have already died. I’m surprised you’re alive at all.”
Each time she came in to see the heart doctor after that, he would talk about how “soon she would no longer be with us.” A typical visit left us so depressed that it took a couple of weeks to recover.
We wanted to try another doctor, but we were too intimidated. After all, he was the expert overseeing her care and prescribing her medications, even if his bedside manner wasn’t what we’d like it to be. We also didn’t know the extent of his influence: would it jeopardize her future care if we risked upsetting him by asking to see someone else? Yet my mom began dreading going to the doctor so much that the stress was taking a real toll.
“My doctor is scolding me for being alive, isn’t he?!” she said after another appointment spent talking about death. This was not conducive to making the most of whatever time she had left. Our church, friends and family began praying for my mom and sending us amazing notes of support and advice. Inexplicably, she still felt fine and had no symptoms after six months.
A friend named Connie Hunter gave us some of the most helpful advice: “I think your mom is demonstrating that medicine is not an exact science and there is more to the human body than any doctor knows and any of us can possibly appreciate. By the heart specialist’s prognosis, your mom should be dead and she isn’t. So I encourage you to encourage her to live – as she is and as her body seems to know how and not let the doctors’ limited understanding of the human body (and other forces) deprive her of life, hope, joy and love. Life is a gift to be celebrated.”
We finally got up the nerve to convince her primary care physician to refer us (with insurance approval) to another heart specialist. With great trepidation, we explained why we were changing doctors. He said he would review all the tests in her file and planned to meet with us in two weeks.
After only a couple of days, my mom received a call from the new cardiologist. “I’d like to take down some of the black crepe that has been put up around you,” he began. “After reviewing your entire file in detail, I find that I don’t agree with the prognosis. I’d like to see you in my office right away.”
Immediately, my mom improved 100 percent psychologically. The new doctor went in with a laser and cleared an artery that was almost completely blocked, improving blood flow to her heart. Even though we know it’s always a possibility, we are no longer living as if she is going to die any minute – it was a terrible way to live. We value each day we have, and we are doing and saying everything we had put off over the years. Who knows what the future holds?
I write this to encourage anyone out there struggling with whatever health issues you might be facing – don’t settle for one doctor’s opinion.
Whatever you do, don’t be afraid to get a second opinion. And don’t wait as long as we did.
