I used to look forward to the start of the school year. It’s
nice after a long summer to have time to do the things I didn’t get
done while Junior was home. But September is a time of new
routines. And learning them pretty much takes up all my time.
I used to look forward to the start of the school year. It’s nice after a long summer to have time to do the things I didn’t get done while Junior was home. But September is a time of new routines. And learning them pretty much takes up all my time.
First, there’s that whole getting-up-for-school-routine. During the summer, Junior got up at 6:30 every morning. Oh, once he slept until 6:58. But when school started, Junior stopped getting up with the sun. And I started getting Junior up by gently coaxing him from his cocoon of blankets.
That worked for a few days. But by Wednesday of the first week of school, Junior couldn’t be coaxed anymore. So I became a bit firmer. And by Friday of the second week, I was in a routine where I yelled down the hallway, “Junior get your butt out of bed NOW.”
Yesterday that stopped working.
So in desperation, I sprinkled cheese on Junior’s cheek and let the dog lick it off. I have never seen Junior leap out of bed like that. And today he got up without a problem. Apparently, Junior doesn’t like being a substitute for the dog’s food bowl.
But even the morning wake up routine isn’t as bad as the homework routine. I think schools invented homework so parents would finally realize they don’t know everything.
The whole phonics thing just confuses me. Long A. Short A. Who knows what sounds those make? I don’t think I knew in the second grade and I’m darn sure I don’t know now.
Once I’m done confusing him about vowel sounds, it’s time to move on to math. Math has never been my strength. It’s worse than phonics. I figure by third grade, Junior will know more about math than I do.
And then there’s the whole play routine. The theory is, after homework is playtime. The reality is, once we’ve gone through language arts, math and cutting pictures of fruit out of all my magazines, it’s time for a bath and bed.
Now that’s a routine that’s pure torture.
During the summer, I was a little lax on the whole Junior-takes-a-bath-thing. Basically, if I could stand five feet from Junior and not smell him, he didn’t have to take a shower. But I can’t do that while he’s in school. I think there are laws about how stinky your child can get and still be allowed in the classroom.
Once Junior smells good, there’s the whole bedtime issue. Junior’s bedtime is 8 p.m. Based on how difficult it is to wake him up in the morning, he probably should go to bed at 7 p.m. But that’s never going to happen. And do you know why?
Because Junior knows how to tell time.
That’s a handy thing he learned last year. And once he started asking other kids what time they went to bed – well, my well-rested son who went to bed without complaint was a child of the past. Because every single kid in his class gets to stay up until 10. Now, I know they lie. But try telling that to Junior.
So once we argue about bed, get him tucked in, fend off numerous requests for water and the toilet, answer too many questions about whether the lizard, fish, and dog were fed, and take one trip to his room to see if the noise he hears from under his bed is an escaped frog or just his imagination, I’m tired of the new routines.
And I’m wishing for summer to come back soon.
