One of the charming things about preschool aged children is not
their cute sayings or innocent interpretations of the world, it’s
their ability to find the joie de vive in the little things in
life. Like tape, for instance.
One of the charming things about preschool aged children is not their cute sayings or innocent interpretations of the world, it’s their ability to find the joie de vive in the little things in life. Like tape, for instance.
Yes, it’s true. If you don’t believe me, just try giving a preschooler a roll of Scotch tape.
Oh sure, at first your child won’t seem interested. They’ll yawn and roll their eyes and even pretend they don’t know how to work the dispenser. But all I can say about this is: Ha! Just when you start thinking they aren’t in the least bit interested, you’ll naively bend over to put a cup in the dishwasher only to stand back up three seconds later and find everything in the house taped together. The recliner, your good shoes, the VCR, the leaves on the potted plants. The cat. EVERYTHING. It’s amazing how fast a preschooler can turn a house into a giant ball of tape.
No one knows what, exactly, causes this automatic attraction. It might be part of a developmental phase. Or perhaps it’s some sort of a bizarre power thing. Or it could be that kids just like to play with sticky stuff.
Whatever the reason, no kid is immune to it. When my son was 3, he had a fetish for taping Barbie heads together. Each day he’d wait for his sister to go off to kindergarten and then sneak into her room and wind the tape around and around their heads like a scene out of a B-rated late night crime thriller. I’m not sure if this had any significant, deeper meaning to it. And, frankly, I really don’t want to know. I’m just thankful he eventually got tired of the Barbies and moved on to taping Hot Wheels cars to the patio window.
But it’s nice to know that it’s not just my child. During a particularly helpful phase, my friend Linda’s son, Bobby, taped their portable phone to the washing machine so she’d “always know where to find it.”
Unfortunately for her, he also insisted on taping the toilet plunger to the fountain in the front yard. It’s amazing how things like this can happen.
The depressing thing is, just when you’re starting to relax because you think your child is finally losing interest, someone will introduce him to, say, masking tape and (Wham!), it starts all over again. First, you’ll see a tiny piece hanging from the philodendron. After that, a few strips along the border in the upstairs hall. And then one day you’ll naively wander off to the bathroom to take a shower, and come out to find your whole house wrapped up like a giant mummy.
Now you could always say in your best I’m-the-parent-so-I’m-in-charge voice, “I forbid you to use any kind of tape. EVER.” But it just seems, well, impractical to banish an entire adhesive system from your house. Besides, no one will listen to you anyway.
Face it, the best you can do is wait for them to grow out of it. That and commiserate with other parents.
In fact, just the other day I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a tired looking woman with a piece of tape sticking out from underneath her shoe. It took her a while to pay because the 10-dollar bill she handed the clerk was taped together into a big ball. I just smiled weakly.
Sometimes it’s nice to know you’re not out there all alone.
