Many variables have changed for them in the last 37 years:
setting, age, wealth and health. But the important ones haven’t:
love, concern, compassion, commitment and respect.
Many variables have changed for them in the last 37 years: setting, age, wealth and health. But the important ones haven’t: love, concern, compassion, commitment and respect.
Shirley remembers that distant day when she took a late lunch at the horseshoe shaped restaurant counter in Vancouver.
Across from her, John A. MacDonald Young (named after family friend, the first prime minister of Canada) watched, smiling. He asked what she was reading. Then moved to the seat next to her.
“He made me laugh,” Shirley said. “I thought he was funny and very kind.”
It wasn’t until they stood to leave that Shirley also realized how very tall John was – 6feet 6 inches – compared to how very short she was.
“Oh my,” she laughed, “This’ll never work!”
Of course he wasn’t going to let a foot-and-a-half stop him!
“I never had another lunch alone,” Shirley remembers. “He was my knight in shining armor – swept me off my feet and has taken care of me ever since.”
John added, “I’ve had all kinds of height nicknames … The best one was ‘gander shanks’ – which means, ‘tall and lanky.’ Of course I always got the basketball jokes, and yes, I did play, not as well as my brother, but I played.”
Almost a year after meeting, they married. Together, Big John, Little Shirley and 9-year-old, Michael, moved to the states. Before long, baby Lisa (light of her father’s life) joined them.
John’s jobs took the family from Tacoma to King City to Gilroy. From Nalley’s Fine Food to Basic Vegetable to McCormick (Gilroy Foods) and then retirement.
There were good times as well as hard times, but throughout the years, John always made use of his wit, compassion and leadership skills.
“I don’t think it was just my height,” he said, “I think I was born to lead. I hope that doesn’t sound like bragging because that’s not the way I mean it. But I always found myself in leadership … always looking for a way to be fruitful in my life and help others in theirs.”
And lead he did! In his family, job, Rotary Club, Chamber of Commerce (past president) and Presbyterian church (Elder) – John saw needs and was willing to step forward and meet them.
Two years ago, their lives changed dramatically when doctors diagnosed John with cancer. Trips and visits to their Canadian family were suddenly being interspersed with radical surgeries, aggressive chemotherapy and long-term radiation.
For awhile, they thought he’d beaten the odds and would finish life a healthy man. He felt good, looked great and was making plans for a cruise down the rivers of Europe.
But unbeknownst to them, the cancer was quietly spreading.
John had no intention of conceding the battle and continued to fight with every weapon the doctors offered. But the cancer refused to acquiesce.
By the end of February, the tumors were growing rapidly and had spread throughout his body. The doctors stopped treatment protocols and called in hospice.
Now, John “rules” from a hospital bed in the master suite of the Young home.
His view of the world is framed by the hundreds of blooming tulips Shirley planted just outside the window.
Guests come or call to say hello and thank him for all that he did to influence their lives. His men’s group meets with him to show their support. The Presbyterian choir crowds in to serenade him with his favorite hymns.
Shirley, Lisa and Harrot (hospice caregiver) make sure he’s never alone and that all of his needs and wants are met. When he points his finger and tells Shirley “only you,” she gets the warm cloth to wash his face or spritz his mouth with water or give him his meds.
“He’s had a couple of episodes where he’s called Lisa and I into his room to tell us that he’s dying,” Shirley said, eyes welling up. “He’s worried about me and I don’t want him to worry. We pray and read scriptures and that seems to calm him.”
For a week now, John’s prayer has been, “Just wrap your arms around me and take me, Lord. I’m done and ready to go.”
So many years, so many memories, so much love passing from one to the other and back again. For better, for worse … in sickness and in health … until death parts and eternal life reunites.
