As far as holidays go, it’s no surprise that Halloween has a bad image with some parents. There are no talking bunnies or jolly elves or anything sentimental about it.
Basically, it’s a holiday filled with, well, scary stuff. And it’s easy to understand, with all of those ghosts, goblins, and witches running around, why some parents might think it are inappropriate for children.
Well, I hate to break it to everyone, but the real things that scare kids have nothing to do with Halloween. If you don’t believe me, take a look at my son. For instance, when he was two years old he went through a phase where we couldn’t use the remote control to open the garage door without him screaming.
Eventually I was able to piece together that the real problem was not that he didn’t like pulling into the garage, oh noooo. But rather that what I saw as an automatic garage door, he saw as a giant monster’s mouth opening wide to gobble up our car. OK, I know what you’re thinking. But, hey, when you’re only two, this can be a very serious concern.
Now, of course, the thought of his mother hugging him in public – that’s a lot more frightening than reading a “Goosebumps” book or watching a wolfman saunter up our driveway on Halloween night.
And I don’t need to tell you that, much like all things having to do with children, there’s no rhyme or reason to it.
I mean, you just can never tell when something as innocent looking as, say, the bathroom plunger will scare the beejeezus out of a kid, which, yes, was something that terrified my son and daughter when they were much younger. It’s trial and error mostly.
But as a helpful guide for this Halloween, I’ve made a list of what scares most kids, at least at some time in their life.
I’m betting I’m not the only parent who has seen her children scared of these things at one point or another.
The vacuum cleaner.
Shots.
Not making it down the stairs before the toilet stops flushing.
Thunder and lightening.
Words like “wreck” or “crash” or “accident.”
Cooties.
Being upstairs alone.
The thing that hides behind the shower curtain.
Bugs crawling into your ear while you’re sleeping.
Blue food.
Shampoo getting into your eyes.
Going up to bat for the first time.
Looking up and realizing you’re holding a stranger’s hand instead of your mom’s.
Clowns.
Being the only kid in kindergarten dressed as a fluffy bunny on Halloween while everyone else is dressed as a superhero.
Water going down the bathtub drain. The end of the escalator that eats the stairs.
Sure, it’s easy to laugh. But, face it, we all have our own personal fears, however silly they may be. I, myself, have several; my top two are spiral perms and elastic jeans.
There are several things that parents WISH they’d be afraid off. It’s crazy, but the very same kid who can climb up the rain gutter and do a back flip off the roof into the potted geraniums, won’t dare look into the back of his closet at night. It’s mind-boggling really.
But as far as Halloween goes, I’m not too worried about its effect on my children. Ghosts and witches and goblins – Ha! Ha! I say.
If you really want to scar a kid for life, try dressing up the bathroom plunger.
Debbie Farmer is a humorist and a mother of two kids, holding down the fort in California. She is also the author of “Don’t Put Lipstick on the Cat.”
