I used to think that as part of the aging process people become
more forgetful. But now that I’m a fully paid-up participant in
that process, I realize that in actuality, it’s the children in our
lives that forget more than we parents have ever known.
I used to think that as part of the aging process people become more forgetful. But now that I’m a fully paid-up participant in that process, I realize that in actuality, it’s the children in our lives that forget more than we parents have ever known.
Take Junior for example (actually, please take Junior – it’s been a long summer). Anyway, you would think that at the tender age of 11, Junior’s memory would be razor sharp, right? Unfortunately, that would be wrong. Consider the conversation I had with him yesterday afternoon.
“Junior, please take out the trash.”
“What trash?”
“The trash in the kitchen.”
“Where is it?”
“In the kitchen.”
“No I mean, where is it in the kitchen?”
“It’s under the sink where it has been for eight very long years.”
“It hasn’t been there for eight years. I emptied it yesterday.”
“Then why can’t you remember where the trash can is?”
“I don’t know. I forget when I swim too much. I think all the water goes through my ears and into my brain and makes it all mushy.”
At that point, I realize that two things are going to happen in my life. First, my darling son is not going to become a brain surgeon. Brain surgeons do not believe that your ears leak water into your brain. The second thing is that more than likely I’m going to empty the trash. Frankly, I can’t tell you which realization is worse.
Unfortunately, the forgetfulness doesn’t stop there. Ask my son to put on socks with his shoes and he will stare blankly at you. Now, I ask you, is there a person over the age of 5 who doesn’t know what a sock is or where they are kept? Oh, why ask – apparently there is such a person, his name is Junior and he lives with me.
I have seen that child walk up the hallway to turn off a light or close a window, stop halfway up the hall, turn around to me and ask, “What was I supposed to do again?” For Pete’s sake, the hallway isn’t that long. We don’t live in Buckingham Palace. How on earth can he go 5 feet and forget what he’s doing?
To be honest with you, his forgetfulness is a little too convenient. Look, he can remember how to do all the chords for “Guitar Hero Rocks the ’80s” but he can’t remember that brushing his teeth is a twice-daily activity. And he can remember a promise I make for ice cream after dinner, even if I make the promise 12 hours prior to dinner being served – but he can’t remember to feed the dog every evening without a reminder.
What’s up with that? My child cannot remember to wear socks, but he can remember every single promise I’ve ever made him? How the heck does that work? Junior can recall that in July 2005, I casually mentioned that someday we might go on a trip to Walt Disney World. Every single summer he asks when we are going. And every single summer I answer with, ” I don’t remember promising you that.” And I don’t remember it. But he does. Or at least he’s managed to convince me that I made the promise and he remembers it.
But you know, the worst part is, Junior’s forgetfulness might be contagious. The other day I went to the gym and realized that I had forgotten to put my socks on. Good Lord, if my memory goes, who’ll remember where the kitchen trash can is kept?
