When someone in our community is murdered, the pain reaches beyond the victim. It devastates families, close friends, neighbors and often the entire town. In the wake of such violence, our attention tends to focus on the police investigation or the court case. But too often, we forget those left behind—the loved ones who are left to grieve a sudden, shocking loss.
The grief we all feel after the recent suspected murder of Marissa DiNapoli is not just sadness. It brings trauma, anger, confusion and sometimes fear. It can be overwhelming, especially without help. This is why access to grief counseling is so important. It gives families and friends the tools they need to cope, to process what’s happened, and to begin healing.
Unfortunately, in many communities—especially smaller towns like ours—resources for grief counseling can be limited. Some families may not know where to turn. Others may not be able to afford private counseling. That’s why it’s so important for local leaders, schools, churches and nonprofits to work together to ensure these services are available and accessible.
Local nonprofit Community Solutions was part of a July 8 event at the Morgan Hill Community and Cultural Center where grief counselors and domestic violence advocates offered help to domestic violence survivors who were triggered by the recent death, as well as community members in general who needed support and linkage to resources, said Alma Tovar, Intimate Partner Violence Services Program Manager for Community Solutions.
Grief counseling isn’t just helpful—it can be life-saving. For children who lose a parent or sibling to violence, counseling can prevent long-term emotional damage. For parents, spouses and close friends, it can offer a path through the heartbreak instead of being stuck in it.
Grieving after a violent loss is deeply painful and complex, Tovar said.
“Family and friends can help themselves and each other by allowing space to feel and express their emotions, reaching out to trusted people for support, and remembering that there is no ‘right way’ to grieve,” she said. “Connecting with grief counseling, support groups or faith and cultural communities can also provide comfort and a sense of not being alone.”
As far as helping those who may be experiencing some form of domestic violence and are afraid or reluctant to report it, Tovar said the most important thing family and friends can do is listen without judgment, believe them, and avoid pressuring them to take actions they are not ready for.
“Let them know you are there for them no matter what they decide and check in regularly to reduce isolation and increase their sense of safety and support,” she added.
As a community, we show our strength not only in how we respond to crime but in how we care for those left behind. Supporting grieving families isn’t just the right thing to do—it’s a way to honor those we’ve lost and to protect the well-being of those who remain.
Let’s continue building a community that looks out for one another, especially in times of deepest pain.
“The loss of this young woman’s life is a tragic reminder of how deeply intimate partner violence wounds us all,” Tovar said. “At Community Solutions, we offer free and confidential services for survivors of domestic and dating violence including crisis intervention, counseling, legal advocacy, and support for their families.
Community Solutions’ domestic violence/mental health hotline is 877.363.7238.
