Sunday night, my friend Don O’Dell lost his battle with
cancer.
I will never forget how at this time last year he borrowed a
Santa suit, donned a big red hat, fastened on some shiny white
curls for a beard, and spent an entire afternoon with children from
low income families. The occasion was a toy giveaway organized by
Bernadette Barrera, recruiter for Migrant Education with the Gilroy
Unified School District.
“That it shall never come again is what makes life so sweet.”
– Emily Dickinson
Sunday night, my friend Don O’Dell lost his battle with cancer.
I will never forget how at this time last year he borrowed a Santa suit, donned a big red hat, fastened on some shiny white curls for a beard, and spent an entire afternoon with children from low income families. The occasion was a toy giveaway organized by Bernadette Barrera, recruiter for Migrant Education with the Gilroy Unified School District.
O’Dell was patient beyond belief, sitting and talking quietly with each child about what he or she wanted for Christmas, giving each child a gift and posing for photos.
This year as we go into the holiday season, so many people are suffering the loss of loved ones and other hardships that I have been struggling with how to find the “thanks” in Thanksgiving.
As I was signing up volunteers this past week to serve on soup teams that will feed the homeless this winter, I spoke with Annette Hancock, who serves on the board of local nonprofit EHC LifeBuilders. EHC sponsors the temporary homeless shelter program at the Gilroy National Guard Armory during the coldest months. Hotels are holding onto their blankets longer this fall, rather than donating them as they usually do, causing a shortage at shelters, she said. The Armory is not yet open, and temperatures have dropped close to freezing. When it opens Monday, Hancock expects as many as 150 people to show up.
Feeling down about absent loved ones, local resident Alene Creager had the idea to make a simple breakfast of fresh fruit, hard boiled eggs and coffee to pass out to the homeless at a local park Thanksgiving morning.
“The one comment I kept hearing was ‘Will you have any clothes?'” she said. “Just in being out on the street talking to these people the past few days I’ve realized that staying warm is a huge issue. Due to these requests, I’ve set aside a few items that I will bring to the breakfast – some gloves, hats, and blankets.”
After I put Creager’s request up on my Facebook page Monday, offers to help began pouring in. I was astonished to receive messages from people I had never met in person. They were offering to donate warm coats and blankets. Within two hours, my porch was heaped with jackets.
A neighbor left a note along with a bag of warm coats that read, “Thanks for sharing the love on my behalf. Enjoy a meaningful Thanksgiving!!”
Last Thanksgiving, Don O’Dell, unaware that it would be his last holiday season, played Santa to the hilt with a joy that was contagious. One little girl, who climbed up in his lap and snuggled into the fuzzy red velvet of his suit, had traveled more than an hour by public transportation and on foot, in the hopes of time with Santa and one small gift. O’Dell couldn’t help but notice how on such a stormy day, neither she nor her mother had coats – and they had no socks on their feet. He would not let them leave without making sure they received some warmer clothing.
It was the sort of thing he was inspired to do after the death of his wife, Arlene, whom he lost to cancer in 2007 after 53 years of marriage.
“Arlene was the love of my life,” he said, tears still filling his eyes at the mention of her name more than two years after her death.
“When you lose someone you love, you have to learn to go on,” O’Dell often told others. “But it’s helping and doing good for others that will really give you peace and comfort in your own mind.”
I will never forget one time after dinner at Mimi’s Restaurant when O’Dell looked at the bill to read what he owed. He was surprised to find no charge listed.
“Your meal has been taken care of by someone you helped,” the bill read. “God bless you.”
You never know what the future holds, but sooner or later, the brevity of life hits you. Whether you give coats out to the homeless like Creager, or you don a red one to cheer others like Don O’Dell, if you unselfishly give your love to others out of the compassion you have gained through your own pain, that love will come back to you in full measure, pressed down and running over.
And that’s definitely something for which you can always be thankful.
