A running diary of the Edge’s trip to the Dark Side, where he
faithfully cheered on his Titans amongst all the silver and
black.
The mission: Have a native Tennessean travel to the heart of Raider Nation and cheer on his Titans during Sunday’s game at Oakland … alone.
The requirements: A Titans shirt. A Titans hat. A big mouth.
The bait: That smiling idiot at the top of this column.
(Cue Stone Phillips voice)
The following is one man’s harrowing story of survival … and the experience that forever shaped his view of the Nation …
11:31am – Determined to not have to pay for parking, I opt for a nice spot underneath a bridge in the ghetto. Just as a general rule, this is never a good idea. But it is free. And free is good.
11:40 – After passing at least a half-dozen people, finally get my first finger. The over/under was 13 minutes. This is a good start.
11:43 – Some dude tells me to wish Elvis a Merry Christmas. Whatever. I tell him to wish Tim Hudson and Mark Mulder a Happy New Year.
11:48 – While walking by what appears to be a pack of leftover orks from “Lord of the Rings”, an old woman with a “&%*@ all Raider Haters” shirt tells me I’m brave. I don’t think so. The soldiers fighting over in Iraq and Afghanistan are brave. I’m just stupid.
11:53 – After making it through one entire side of the parking lot – and really receiving only an occasional under-the-breath insult – I make my way over to the Jack Daniel’s RV, where scantily-clad Jack Daniel’s girls are tossing down prizes to a horde of rabid Raider fans. Nothing good can come out of this.
11:54 – So, of course, I get right in the middle of things *– Titan gear and all. Like a Mardi Gras mosh pit, we push and shove each other as if we’re fighting for the last bit food left on Earth.
11:58 – With a heroic, leaping grab, I somehow hold onto a large bundle of something wrapped in plastic. Turns out to be an entire package of 10 Jack Daniels “We’re No. 1” foam fingers – the only one of its kind thrown. Several individual fingers were caught. I hauled in the motherload. Quite possibly one of the 500 most exciting moments of my life.
12:02pm – Must be my lucky day. Was just offered a free 2003 Raider media guide by two random team employees outside the stadium. Looks like they’ve only got a few left. I’ll be coming back later for my Bill Callahan bobblehead.
12:18 – Continue to walk amongst the tailgaters. Much to my shock and dismay, my Titans’ stuff is met with mostly apathy. Even if someone does notice, it’s usually just that “is he really a fan or was he just given that stuff by the Salvation Army?” look.
12:31 – Apparently not even the scalpers are touching this game. So I swallow hard and fork over $47 at the ticket office. I’ll be sitting in Mt. Davis, which means I’ll apparently have full access to the clouds today. Hey, what a deal.
12:42 – Have yet to see a Titans’ fan, but the guy who sold me a newspaper said he’s like my team’s quarterback. So I have one supporter out here – and he’s selling me something.
12:51 – Into the stadium now. I’m getting the occasional “Raaaaaiderrrrrrs” chant, but even that’s usually just in good fun. Couldn’t be more disappointed. Don’t these people know they have a reputation to uphold?
12:57 – Arrive at my seat and there’s not a soul within six rows. Just an electric atmosphere all around.
12:58 – On the other hand, I have a great view of both the Harbor Bay Parkway and beautiful downtown Oakland. And it really doesn’t get any better than that.
1:07 – How do you know your team has been ravaged by injuries? Not only is a player introduced you’ve never heard of – but he’s also announced as a starter. Ouch.
1:15 – Raider PA guy: “Calling Raider Nation … Are you ready for some Rrrraider football!” Raider Nation: “Um, nnnnot really.”
1:36 – Leap out of my seat after first Tennessee touchdown. Expecting to be hit in the back of the head by a blunt object, I turn around and realize there’s still only about eight people behind me. And I think one of them is already asleep.
2:01 – One of those hokey “pick a song” promotions flashes on the scoreboard. The choices: The Darkness, All-American Rejects or Alanis Morisette. The nearly unanimous vote: Silence. Nobody cheered for any of them. That was beautiful.
2:04 – Already 21-14, this has all the makings of a shootout. Just the football kind, I pray.
2:14 – The following rap lyrics repeatedly blare over the PA system: “The City of Oak … Oak-town … Ooooh, don’t you know?” Simply horrible. Why didn’t we get to vote on this matter?
2:31 – After a disputed call, I finally get a piece of ice thrown at me. It’s about time, fellas.
2:58 – Bad sign No. 37 for the Raiders: the introduction of the Cal football team at halftime is met with the loudest applause of the day. Then again, the “Good luck in the Holiday Bowl” announcement is met with a chorus of boos. So that’s the key. I need to break out the Texas shirt in the second half.
3:27 – Oakland’s Doug Gabriel streaks down the field for a 45-yard touchdown and just for a split-second, I think, ‘Hey, that was a nice move to start him in my fantasy playoff game this week.’ I hate myself during these moments. Damn you, fantasy football.
3:36 – A fumble recovery by Warren Sapp? Nice to know this guy waits 14 weeks and then decides to show up against my team.
3:41 – Less than 10 minutes after my buddy tells me it’s 30 back home and snow is on the way, I buy an ice cream sandwich at an NFL game six days before Christmas. God, I love California.
4:02 – After all, where else can seagulls take over the scoreboard and two of the upper decks, as they are right now? I’m not kidding. There’s hundreds of them. Some of them are literally walking around in the empty sections.
4:12 – After looking dead-in-the-water, the Titans are apparently coming back. I’m cheering loudly now, and still … nothing from the fans around me. They’re all transfixed by the birds. God, I love California.
4:15 – In the upper levels of the north end of the stadium, though, the seagulls now outnumber the people. And I’m not the only one thinking this is getting a little too Hitchcockian. As he was leaving, a man near me said – and I quote – “I’m getting the hell out of here … those %&*@ are about to attack.”
4:26 – OK, he might just have a point. This is getting out of control. Droppings just came raining down from the sky three rows in front of me. I figured I would have to deal with some animals today. Just never figured they’d be actual animals.
4:39 – Final score: Raiders 40, Titans 35. Tennessee’s last-ditch effort ends in a safety. Now it’s time to run for safety. I just made eye contact with one of the seagull invaders. Not good.
4:46 – Still miffed by the relative tameness of the Raider Nation, I walk through the parking lot once last time, giving Oakland fans one last chance to prove their crudeness.
4:48:31 – One man spots my outfit and tells me to go back to Tennessee. There is hope.
4:48:43 – That same guy laughs and tells me he actually likes coach Jeff Fisher and thinks the Titans will be good again next year. I don’t understand this. Do I have a Make-A-Wish sticker on my back or something?
4:53 – Ask a pair of mean-looking, silver-painted fanatics how to get back onto 880 and they politely give me perfectly detailed directions. This is quite simply the last straw. I gave these Oakland people ample opportunity to live down to their reputation, and they failed miserably.
Maybe next year, Raider fans. Maybe next year.
– Brett Edgerton is a columnist for South Valley Newspapers. He can be reached at bedgerton@gilroydispatch.
