Let’s talk about another facet of your health – one that doesn’t have anything to do with horrible diseases or strange rashes or medication. Let’s talk about your emotional health and a little thing I like to call “Date Night.”
Date night, for me, originated about three months ago. My fiancé and I realized that we had a problem. We were devoting almost all of our together time to other people. Between catching up with friends, making it to our supper club events, visiting with his family and flying down to Southern California to work on wedding plans, we were losing sight of us.
“How could this be?” I thought. “We don’t even have kids yet!”
Yet here we were, a young couple with too much on our plates. That’s when a couple of his trusted friends made a suggestion: just keep dating.
Josh and Stephanie have a regular date night, once a week, where they get out of the house. They try not to talk about work or bills or any of the mundane little things that clog up their lives. Instead, they talk about the things they used to, when they were still flirting with and wooing one another.
It’s not a bad idea, according to Vicky Tamashiro, assistant program director of Chamberlain’s Mental Health in Gilroy.
“When you go out as a couple, or even just send the kids away for an evening, you get to do something on your own without them tagging along and grabbing at you,” said Tamashiro. “It’s a chance for a couple to connect without interruption. You get to talk to an adult and you get to devote some time just to yourselves.”
Better yet, getting away occasionally, remembering that you have another life besides being mommy or daddy, can help you to relax and take care of yourself. And when you’re feeling better, you’re more capable of caring for others, said Tamashiro.
“Even more fun than a pre-scheduled date is just an impromptu thing,” said Tamashiro. “If you get a day, a moment where you have the chance to get out for a lunch, it almost makes it seem more special. It also takes the pressure off. Sometimes we over-schedule ourselves, so I wouldn’t advise adding one more thing to feel guilty over not doing.”
Whether it’s once a week or once a month, Tamashiro suggests taking some “couple” time. But, she cautioned, don’t place expectations on those dates. Instead of planning to hash out every problem you have with the kids or every detail of your relationship, try chilling out, catching a movie and just relaxing around one another.
My suggestion: head to the nearest In & Out and eat at the tiniest table for two you can find. Then, catch “Batman Begins” at your local theater. If heading out for a movie just isn’t feasible right now, here are a few low-on-the-dough ideas from TheRomantic.com:
-Enjoy a picnic. Buy a loaf of bread, a chunk of brie and a decent bottle of wine. You can go for a drive and enjoy a picnic if you have the time, or simply camp out for a floor picnic and enjoy a good movie at home.
-Scavenge the dollar store together. What’s the weirdest thing you can find? Anything fun like a kite? If not, pick up a box of inexpensive cereal or a bag of oyster crackers. You can head to the local park to relax and feed the birds or enjoy a drive to the beach to feed seagulls from the pier.
-Go fishing, but only take one pole, and be sure to teach your honey how to cast.
-Make out. You know, like when you were teenagers. Most couples forget about the fun of simply kissing and caressing over time, so bring it back. And if things get too hot to handle … well, thank God you’re not teenagers anymore.
