Sometimes the American family seems to be an endangered
institution.
The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that half of all first
marriages will end in divorce.
Sometimes the American family seems to be an endangered institution.
The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that half of all first marriages will end in divorce.
It is difficult and challenging to raise children today, and even more so in a single parent home.
But approximately 28 percent of children live with only one parent. Statistics like these can’t be healthy for our society.
In the 1950’s, a movement began in Spain which attempted to preserve families by revitalizing the parents’ marriage.
In 1967, it was brought to this country under the name “Marriage Encounter.”
Despite the name, Marriage Encounter doesn’t involve “encounter groups,” “sensitivity training” or “group dynamics.” Nor is it a retreat or vacation.
Rather, it is a 44-hour program designed to strengthen good marriages: those where love, consideration and friendship still exist between the partners.
A weekend is usually held at a retreat center or motel.
Three married couples plus a clergyperson present a series of brief talks concerning aspects of the married relationship.
After each portion of the program, the couples retire to private rooms to reflect on the topics presented.
No one is asked to share intimate thoughts with the whole group; the experience is a private one between husband and wife.
People who have been “encountered” usually stress two benefits they have received from the experience:
The weekend allowed them to get away from the distractions and pressures of their daily lives to rediscover the things about each other that brought them together originally.
It also taught them a special communication tool which they can use regularly to stay in touch with their thoughts and feelings.
An added bonus is the opportunity to participate regularly in the activities of a caring community of other couples who have shared the same experience.
It is easy to attend an M.E. weekend. The upfront cost is usually a nonrefundable deposit of $50.
This guarantees space at the next convenient weekend. If necessary, M.E. will often arrange for someone to care for the family’s children.
Of course, hotel accommodations, meals and materials cost more than this fee.
Traditionally, at the end of the program expenses are explained and envelopes provided for anonymous donations.
People are asked to contribute whatever they can afford, but the weekend has been paid for by couples who have gone before, so no one should miss out on the enrichment of M.E. for financial reasons.
While Marriage Encounter began within the Roman Catholic Church, members of other faiths are welcome to attend Catholic weekends.
But since 1971, other denominations have developed their own variations ( “expressions”) of the program: Episcopal, Baptist, Lutheran, United Methodist and other churches now offer M.E. weekends for members of their faith communities.
The main differences are that presenting couples and clergy are of the sponsoring church, and talks emphasize each church’s doctrines about marriage and family. Again, religious affiliation isn’t a requirement for attending.
The success of Marriage Encounter can be gauged by the more than 2 million couples who have participated in this country and the reported 2 percent divorce rate among couples who have participated.
It offers a standard guarantee: “If you’re not satisfied, you can have your old marriage back.”
Marriage getting stale? Lost the spark of romance? A South Valley weekend for Roman Catholics is scheduled for April 29 through May 1. Call Peg and Paul Raburn at (408) 224-9035 for more information about Marriage Encounter, or visit www.wwme.org.
Chuck Flagg teaches English at Mt. Madonna High School. Write to him at P.O. Box 22365, Gilroy, CA 95021.
