Dear Editor:
There’s a lot of talk these days about how we talk, and whether
we should legislate a common language.
Dear Editor:
There’s a lot of talk these days about how we talk, and whether we should legislate a common language.
We, in America, have a more difficult time than most other nations in selecting one official language. Most countries like China, Japan, and France have a large majority of natives, all speaking one common language, or perhaps some regional dialects. But here in America, we have a fair representation of practically every language spoken in the entire world.
Since Columbus, English has always been the defacto standard as “our language”, but I am not so sure it is the best selection. For one thing, at least in California, very few people speak it correctly, or even intelligibly. Admittedly, it is a hodgepodge of plagiarized words from other base languages like Latin. But I haven’t seen a legitimate Latinese around here for years, so that is not a good reason to continue English as our official tongue.
I think we should consider Jive as our official language. There are a number of good reasons to convert everyone to Jive. For one thing, it is native to America. It was developed right here on the streets of the large cities. It is also a very simple language. I think there are some 50 to 100 words that allow all necessary transfer of thought between proficient Jive speakers.
Naturally, there would be some issues in converting everyone over to Jive, but the very best authorities in Jive are on the streets and unemployed. This would give them an opportunity to be gainfully employed and permanent translation jobs would be available to all who want to work.
As an ancillary benefit, Jive is a unique language in that there is a subset called “Rap” that is based on poetic thought expression. I don’t know of any other language that has specific tools for promoting this art form.
There are other advantages to switching languages. Terrorist organizations would have a tough time dealing with a new language. Can you imagine a terrorist, who is trying to catch an airplane to highjack, asking a Jive speaker for directions to the airport?
And all those really long words used by doctors and scientists would be grossly simplified and allow the layperson a chance to understand what they are talking about. We could even pass a law that makes it illegal to combine more than two syllables in one Jive word. That would alleviate the possibility of tainting proper Jive words with high-tech terms.
A change like this would put the lawyers out of business. Much of the thought transfer between Jive speakers is in the presentation and cannot be captured in graphic form. It would take lawyers multiple generations to learn how to write all those double negative, thought twisting, rambling philosophical discourses in proper Jive.
It is just a thought, but probably no more off-base than some of the other ideas on this subject.
Wayne Simmons, Gilroy
Submitted Friday, Aug. 1 to ed****@****ic.com
