”
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful
trip
…
”
– Gilligan’s Island theme song
They’re back
– yes, those wacky castaways are returning to TV. Well, sort of.
It’s not the original Gilligan and gang, it’s people pretending to
be them. Apparently, the folks who create reality TV shows have
officially run out of ideas. How else do you explain a brand new
reality show based upon
”
Gilligan’s Island?
”
“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip …”
– Gilligan’s Island theme song
They’re back – yes, those wacky castaways are returning to TV. Well, sort of. It’s not the original Gilligan and gang, it’s people pretending to be them. Apparently, the folks who create reality TV shows have officially run out of ideas. How else do you explain a brand new reality show based upon “Gilligan’s Island?”
That’s right. I said “Gilligan’s Island” and “reality” in the same sentence.
In case you’ve forgotten, “Gilligan’s Island” was a truly cheesy TV show with an even cheesier premise. A bunch of people board a boat for a three-hour tour and get shipwrecked on a deserted tropical island.
Really. That’s it.
Oh, okay, there was a little bit more. Like the rich people on the show brought a trunk full of money with them, despite the fact that they were only going to be on the boat for three hours. And the two girls on the show brought suitcases filled with evening gowns and short-shorts – always useful when you’re stranded for several years with three single men. And, of course, there was a professor who could make a radio out of coconuts, but couldn’t use one of Ginger’s girdles to patch the hole in the boat.
Does that sound like reality to you? Because to me, it’s pretty much a work of fiction, and bad fiction at that.
But now it’s a reality series. They’re taking two groups of castaways and putting them in little huts somewhere. Then they take the groups and make them compete. And the winners win … actually I don’t know what they win. But it’s not important. What is important is why. Why are we being subjected to this?
What on earth have we, the American Viewing Public, done that is so bad, so awful, that we are subjected to this TV show?
Well, for one thing, we’ve watched other bad reality shows. Oh sure, nobody admits to it. It’s like a dirty little suburban secret. We don’t want any of our friends to know that we’ve never missed an episode of “Dog The Bounty Hunter” or “Wife Swap.” It’s just not talked about.
Okay, there ARE people who will admit to watching the smart reality shows. People who talk publicly about being addicted to “The Amazing Race” or “Eco-Challenge.” Heck, there are even people who will tell their closest friends that they secretly just love “Survivor.”
But none of us will admit to watching the truly trashy shows. But the reality – pun intended – is that since there are so many of them on TV, there must be somebody watching. TV executives only make money when people actually watch their shows.
So step up and admit it – who among us hasn’t seen at least one episode of “Fear Factor?” Anyone? Don’t be afraid. I’ll be the first to confess that I’ve watched it. Once. It was the “holiday” episode. Let me just say for the record that you could not pay me enough to eat uncooked reindeer private parts.
But “Gilligan’s Island?” Do we really need to see a reality version of “Gilligan’s Island?”
Didn’t we suffer enough the first time? And how the heck can you base a reality series on something fictional anyway? Isn’t that an oxymoron or something? Or maybe it’s just moronic, I don’t know.
And worst of all, what happens if this is successful? What happens if millions of us tune in? Will they mine other cheesy sitcoms for new reality TV? Will we have to watch a reality version of “Green Acres” with Donald Trump and his latest fiancée?
Or, heaven forbid, a reality version of “The Beverly Hillbillies” starring some cousin-marrying clan from the deep, deep South?
I know, it makes me afraid, too. But there is one good thing to come of all this. I mean, it makes “Fear Factor” look like quality television, doesn’t it? Okay, maybe not. But look at the bright side. You can always turn your TV off. Now that’s a reality show I could live with. A real night with my family and no TV.
I just might have to try it.
