When we left off last week, Gilroy nurse and mom, Jonelle Roth,
was recounting the tale of her family vacation to a
”
Treesort
”
in Oregon, with her husband, two young daughters, and the new
family pet, a dog named Bijou (a Chihuahua/Dachshund mix).
When we left off last week, Gilroy nurse and mom, Jonelle Roth, was recounting the tale of her family vacation to a “Treesort” in Oregon, with her husband, two young daughters, and the new family pet, a dog named Bijou (a Chihuahua/Dachshund mix). In one of the funniest vacation stories any Gilroyan has told in years, the luxurious resort accommodations Jonelle was anticipating turned out to be a choice of a room in a tree branch with a chamber pot for a bathroom, or a room in a tree up several curved staircases and two very long suspension bridges, with a bucket provided to use for dumping in the toilet tank, since the plumbing was out of commission. However, the owner (Michael), whom Jonelle nicknamed “Jethro,” pointed out that there were public facilities with actual working plumbing located right below the tree house. Jonelle was thrilled: “I could see how convenient that would be if our legs were 40 feet long.
Of course, the National Lampoon reality was that we would need to do the Tarzan thing for the equivalent of two city blocks and then hot-tail it across the frozen tundra (did I mention it was so cold I could see myself breathe?), use the facilities, then reverse the whole process. This lovely room had burlap coverings over the ‘windows.’ There was a space heater but no fire alarm. Via that incredible sixth sense that married people have, my husband guessed that I was less than thrilled with how things were going. He suggested we go into town and get dinner while everything got sorted out: “Honey I’m going to get you a nice glass of wine.” I did feel mollified as I envisioned a long-stemmed glass of Merlot or perhaps a nice Moscato. When I finally got my ‘pink’ wine in a stubby little jelly jar I just closed my eyes, took a swig, and started praying. “Please God,” I begged, “Hold my tongue and just help me to be a sport about all of this.” Then I opened my eyes and saw the dead bug floating in my drink. I started laughing so hard that my family looked worried.
When we went back to the ‘Treesort,’ we found that another family hadn’t returned for the night (I can’t imagine why) and so the best accommodations, with (TA-DA!) insulated windows, a toilet, and a sink were available. Hallelujah! We slept 40 feet in the air in a TREEHOUSE! It was awesome! When we finally settled in for the night, I told my husband I felt badly for referring to the owner as “Jethro.” He told me not to worry about it because he was convinced that Michael was in bed with his wife at that same moment, saying, “What do you suppose that city girl’s doin’ up there, paintin’ her nails?” He was probably right. They didn’t even charge us for our dog. After seeing Oregon dogs, I am convinced that they did not actually consider Bijou a dog. In fact, the large Oregon men with their huge Oregon dogs laughed at my husband with Bijou. One bear-like fellow looked at Steve with little Bijou, and guffawing, said, “Ohhh, daddy, I’m cold.” We can hardly wait to go back – but only in WARM weather. The owner has actually created a pirate ship that sails through the trees when the children rock it. There are horses, large dogs running free, and there is a marvelous seasonal pond on the property.” Jonelle assures us, “You’ll want to come with us next time!”
Kat Teraji’s column is published every Thursday in The Dispatch. You can reach her at ka****@ea*******.net.
