Well, maybe this is old news, but I’m shocked about Pluto. The
ninth planet is now a
”
dwarf planet.
”
I actually don’t know what that means, but I don’t think the
news is good for Pluto.
Well, maybe this is old news, but I’m shocked about Pluto. The ninth planet is now a “dwarf planet.” I actually don’t know what that means, but I don’t think the news is good for Pluto.
I feel bad for this plucky little former planet. Consider this: How would you feel if somebody discovered you about 75 years ago and said, “Hey, here’s a new planet. We will call him Pluto.” And suddenly, Pluto is a pretty cool planet. Sure, it’s a little small, but hey, size isn’t supposed to matter, right?
So for Pluto, life as a planet is good for about 75 years. Walt Disney names a cartoon dog after it. In fact, Pluto the dog has a dog and it’s named Pluto, Jr. In the United Arab Emirates, an entire airline is named after Pluto. Even the astrologers get in on the act and decree that Pluto is now the official planet of Scorpio. Pluto is the king of the little planets.
And then one day, it’s all gone. Pluto isn’t king of anything any longer because it’s not really a planet. A bunch of people with a bunch of initials after their names demoted poor little Pluto.
If you ask me – and I’ll admit they didn’t, more than likely because I’m not an astronomer and I don’t have any initials after my name except for M.O.M – but if they did, I would tell them that I think they are being mean. And quite possibly, their actions could be construed as bullying.
Maybe I’m crazy, but hear me out. Pluto is the smallest planet … er, former planet. So it’s easy to pick on. I don’t see those dudes with all their fancy initials picking on any big planets like Jupiter. In fact, Jupiter is so large that all the other planets – and former planets – in the solar system could fit inside it. Jupiter would kick those astronomers’ butts if they tried to demote it.
OK, maybe I am a little crazy.
But Jupiter aside, demoting Pluto has all sorts of horrifying ramifications. All over the world, the planet mobiles attached to baby cribs are wrong. What are parents to do? Take off Pluto? Then the entire mobile is out of balance. Didn’t these darned astronomers think about the danger before they just knocked Pluto out of the planetary system? What happens when all those out of balance mobiles drops onto sleeping babies? Sure, Pluto’s small, but I’ll bet it would still hurt if it fell on your head.
And what about those wallpaper murals of the planets? They hang in houses and buildings all over the planet – Earth, that is. But did one of those astronomers ever think of how much effort was put into hanging them? I don’t think so. And now they all have to be stripped down.
Oh, sure, some people will just keep Pluto there. Or maybe draw a big “X” through it. But if it were I, that mural would be stripped down and replaced with a beach scene. Nobody tells a beach that it’s too small and tries to reclassify it as a strip of sand.
And what about all those glow-in-the-dark solar system kits? Do they need to be recalled? After all, they’re now all out of date and full of misinformation. And what about textbooks? Do schools across the world have to rewrite, republish and repurchase textbooks just because a bunch of astronomers were feeling cranky one afternoon and decided to pick on the smallest former planet in the solar system?
And what about astrologers? All those people born under Scorpio – what happens to them? Do they just open up their newspaper one day and read, “So sorry, your planet turned out to be too small, so you have to go about your daily life without astrological predictions to help you.”
And that begs another question – why didn’t the astrologers know about this first? If they can predict the future through position of the planets and all that – why couldn’t they predict that millions of people born under the sign of Scorpio would now be without a planet to guide them?
I’m telling you, it’s enough to boggle the mind – or at least the mind of a crazy mom like me. But there is good news. As a dwarf planet, Pluto is the second-largest in the solar system. Maybe it is the size that counts after all – and maybe now Pluto is the King of the Dwarf Planets.
Laurie Sontag is a Gilroy writer and mom who wishes parenthood had come with instructions. Her column is syndicated. She can be reached at la****@la**********.com.
