Look alive, all you romantics! Valentine’s Day is coming, when
thoughts turn toward love. The real story of how St. Valentine
became the patron saint of lovers is a mysterious one.
Look alive, all you romantics! Valentine’s Day is coming, when thoughts turn toward love. The real story of how St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers is a mysterious one. Legend depicts the Feb. 14 martyring of one of three possible men: a Roman prisoner who benevolently helped others escape, an imprisoned chap who fell in love with the jailer’s daughter – sending her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” or a temple priest who performed secret marriage ceremonies against orders of Emperor Claudius II.
Whatever the case, February has long been celebrated as a time of romance, with the subject of amour fascinating and titillating us throughout history. That’s because love is high on the list of what everyone wants and needs. Victor Hugo said, “Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.” Nothing is quite so wonderful as being loved or quite so heartrending as feeling lonely.
Zig Ziglar tells the story of a father estranged from his son in Madrid, Spain. The two had argued, the young son fled, and the father was desperate to find him. He took out an ad in the local newspaper, “Dear Paco, Meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your father.” On Saturday, nearly 800 lads named Paco showed up, looking for love from their dads.
Love has many faces: Spouse, parent, friend, caregiver, volunteer. Usually, we categorize love in terms of romance. Romantic love is a terrific tonic; it lifts our mood to euphoric states. Senses are heightened, emotions magnified, problems forgotten. Life has new meaning. Emerson wrote, “All mankind loves a lover.” Then we get married, and reality sets in. Candlelight and roses turn to dirty laundry and daily routine.
My nutty, 80 year-old cousin sent me one of those corny e-mail jokes. It read, “You have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.” Seriously, those of us married for any length of time know contentment is a challenge all its own. Take a look at divorce rates; over half of us can’t wait to get into marriage, then can’t wait to get out.
So how can long-time couples enjoy love, intimacy and that elusive “home, sweet home”? To add creative romance zing, try these ideas in addition to the traditional Valentine’s fare of candy, flowers, gifts, or dining out:
Drag out old photos and spend time reminiscing. Play the song you danced to when you first met.
Have a date night every week. Do something spontaneous: make homemade soup, take a walk, eat ice cream sundaes, rent a movie, set out for the beach.
Give lots of hugs. Be lavish with compliments. Leave notes under pillows, in pockets or purses. Say, “I love you” often.
Talk about thoughts and feelings. Share hopes, dreams, future plans.
All these small things are the stuff of which love is made. We can’t love without giving, and through giving we find purpose. Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity to add giving and meaning to life.
Besides caring about those under your own roof, find someone else who needs love and share a meal, a word of hope, a helping hand. That’s what binds us all together in a circle of love.
“If you would be loved, love and be loveable.” – Benjamin Franklin
