The owner of our business wants to put me in a management
position without telling the staff that they report to me.
Q:
The owner of our business wants to put me in a management position without telling the staff that they report to me.
He’s afraid that if he officially makes me the boss, some “old-timers” will be upset. He says that if I lead meetings, approve vacation requests and participate in performance reviews, employees will automatically begin to regard me as their manager.
Before joining this company, I was a plant manager for 12 years, so I know how management works.
If the owner goes through with this plan, I will be held accountable for results, but will have virtually no control over the staff’s performance. Isn’t he being somewhat unrealistic?
A:
Your timid boss apparently believes that by giving you a stealth promotion, he can avoid having some difficult conversations. Perhaps you should point out that poorly defined roles could lead to much greater problems.
When reporting relationships are ambiguous, employees have to deal with unclear expectations and confused priorities. To resolve these issues, they typically seek out the answer they prefer, just like kids deciding whether to ask mom or dad. The eventual result can be chaos and conflict.
If the owner hopes to benefit from your leadership ability, then he needs to tell the staff why he is putting you in charge. If he fails to do so because he fears hurting their feelings, then he’s not much of a leader himself.
Q:
My boss refuses to move me away from a toxic co-worker. This woman is a narcissistic, selfish loner who talks only if you ask her a question. She has actually said, “I’m here to work, not socialize.” She eats lunch with the rest of us, but is not overly outgoing.
I am a very giving person, and she takes advantage of my good nature. I have brought her Christmas and birthday gifts, but she has never once reciprocated. She didn’t even thank me when I cut out some funny comics for her.
Although I am naturally friendly and gregarious, this woman puts out an aura that says “leave me alone.” She is toxic to my work environment. I told her that if she can’t be more sociable, she should go to work in a funeral parlor.
A:
Why on earth are you so angry? You say you’re a friendly, giving person, but you actually sound rather hostile. Your quiet colleague simply has a different personality, so getting upset with her is a complete waste of emotional energy.
Some people do enjoy socializing at the office, but others prefer to quietly focus on their work. While you see this woman as cold and unfriendly, she may view you as pushy and too emotional. She must also wonder why you keep giving her gifts, since you obviously dislike her.
Your boss has wisely refused to accommodate your childish demand to move, so you must learn to coexist with your uncommunicative co-worker. If you can manage to dial down your anger and accept her as she is, you may find that she will eventually become more responsive.
