Now, there’s been talk lately around South County about whether
or not our various species of city officials are, shall we say, the
Best and the Brightest. In Gilroy there are a lot of folks who have
been put off their feed by the cost of the new police station,
while in Morgan Hill we got so many citizens shaking their heads
over the handling of the Great Spy Scandal that you can hear brains
rattling clear up to Coyote Valley.
Now, there’s been talk lately around South County about whether or not our various species of city officials are, shall we say, the Best and the Brightest. In Gilroy there are a lot of folks who have been put off their feed by the cost of the new police station, while in Morgan Hill we got so many citizens shaking their heads over the handling of the Great Spy Scandal that you can hear brains rattling clear up to Coyote Valley. But cheer up, friends, once again there’s reason to be grateful ’cause we ain’t San Jose.
In case you haven’t been following the progress of that city’s mega-maxi-monster-municipal headquarters rising like a pile of money on East Santa Clara Street, it seems that somehow Cisco Systems was given the inside track on supplying around eight mill worth of goodies for the palace’s telephone and network systems – you know, Cisco defines the standards, there are no other bidders, it’s all done very quietly – in other words, they copied the business plan of Halliburton.
And then, rottenest of luck, word got out, and now all kinds of city officials are being looked at by various probers and pryers with a view to, like, finding out who’s guilty of doing what’s perfectly OK if you’re building Iraq but not OK if you’re building a city hall. Pretty much at the top of the food chain is the City Manager, a fellow named Del Borgsdorf who, as the rumors and accusations rose above the “just a few rogue prison guards” level and started eating into major city staffers with no end in sight, did what any proactive big cheese would do to restore public confidence in government. He launched a thorough investigation into himself.
Now, it takes uncommon courage to investigate yourself under these conditions because you know the chips are going to fall where they may – even the innocent are bound to feel apprehensive when they know they have come under the baleful gaze of their own eyes. Can you imagine the tense dinner conversations?
MANAGER: I don’t know, honey; I’m a little worried. I mean, I’m sure I’m clean, but even so, what if I find something to accuse me of? I make a lot of decisions in my job, and I might, you know, misinterpret a few of them so they look bad.
MS. MANAGER: Well, I hate to say this, but what if you offered you a bribe to look the other way?
MANAGER: I thought of that, but it’s risky. I mean, what if I can’t be bribed? If I guess wrong about me, I might turn me in for trying, and I could get me in a lot of trouble.
MS. MANAGER: Well, maybe you won’t do a good job, and miss the things you don’t want you to find.
MANAGER: I don’t know; I’ve seen me work, and I can’t count on me being sloppy. I just wish I’d call me into my office for a grilling and get it over with! I’m torturing me with this uncertainty.
Imagine his relief when at the conclusion of his 125-hour investigation he was able to tell the press, and I quote, “On my part, when it comes to wrongdoing, that’s a flat no.” Imagine the joyous phone call home: “Honey, great news – I completely exonerated me! I found that I did nothing at all wrong! It must have been the interview; I asked me a lot of tough questions, but I really impressed me with my answers. Personally, I think I owe me an apology for any temporary perception that I was suspicious of my actions, but I’m willing to let it pass.”
Yup, we ain’t San Jose.
