Now that the 30th Gilroy Garlic Festival is over, I’d like to
say that I strongly suspect we here in the South Valley might have
started something sinister.
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Now that the 30th Gilroy Garlic Festival is over, I’d like to say that I strongly suspect we here in the South Valley might have started something sinister. Across the United States, there now seems to be a festival for virtually everything … and even one for – literally – nothing. No doubt many were insidiously inspired by the success of our own world-famous festival devoted to the odorous herb.
Recently, I perused the Internet to find what odd American food festivals exist. Turns out there’s a whole cornucopia of them out there.
When I heard about the National Baby Food Festival held every July in Fremont, Mich., I wondered who dreamed up a shindig devoted to pureed nutrition for infants. When I found out the Gerber Products Company is based in the town, I deduced it was a case of a clever corporation’s kiddy cuisine marketing campaign run amuck. Then again, perhaps there’s nothing better to cleanse the palate than strained spinach sherbet.
If you get a thrill gnawing on road-kill, haul yourself over to Marlinton, W. Va., which celebrates cuisine caught by cars. Mmmm, mmmm – nothing tastier than rooster run over by a redneck, especially when it’s smothered in a nice Hollandaise sauce.
If you happen to be in the Illinois town of Byron in the fall, you’ve definitely got to check out the haute cuisine happening at the annual Turkey Testicle Festival. According to the song on the festival’s official Web site (www.turkey-testicle-festival.com), “there’s always a couple of nuts around,” at this rather, er, unique food fête where you’re absolutely guaranteed to “have a ball.” Rumor has it that they even sell t-shirts printed with the friendly salutation: “How’s it hanging?”
Eau Claire, Mich., holds an annually festival that its population proudly boasts is the pits. The town’s International Cherry Pit-Spitting Championship is held in July and has been running since 1974 – four years before the Garlic Festival started. A world record was set in 2003 when Brian Krause shot a cherry stone out of his mouth a spit-tacular 93 feet and 6-1/2 inches.
If you think grits are great, head over to the South Carolina city of St. George in April when it holds the World Grits Festival. It’s been going on since 1986. Apparently, the city consumes more of the corn-based substance per capita than anywhere else in America.
Monty Python Fans who are into “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam” can go on a quest for the holy grail of canned meats at the SpamJam festival held in Waikiki, Hawaii. Apparently, folks in the Aloha State are really into the potted pink meat – enough to celebrate it with this bizarre bazaar.
The Ohio town of Wilmington’s claim to fame is that it’s the birthplace of the banana split. According to local legend, this treat was originally created in 1907 when Ernest Hazard, a restaurant owner in the town, contrived it to attract Wilmington College students. (Latrobe, Pa., claims the banana split was invented in 1904 in its town by David Evans Strickler at Tassel Pharmacy’s soda foundation.) Despite the dispute, Wilmington holds a Banana Split Festival every June in honor of this pound-packing culinary concoction.
If you tickle for a pickle, there’s a North Carolina town that hosts a celebration every April to venerate this canned cucumber culinary delight. Maybe Gilroy folks can get some ideas from Mt. Olive’s two-day North Carolina Pickle Festival by including in next year’s garlic gala such attractions as duck and pig races.
Hankering for some dee-licious pig intestines? Then head on over to Salley, S.C., where the annual Chitlin’ Strut is held in November. Chitlins – hog’s stomach – is used in various Southern dishes. Often called tripe, it’s also an important ingredient in a beloved Mexican soup called menudo. And this delicacy is relished every October during the Menudo Festival in the southern California city San Fernando.
Finally, I know of no better festival to end this column with than one that is the absolute antithesis of the Gilroy Garlic Festival. One day before I die, I must attend the annual Nothing Festival in Telluride, Colo., held for three days in mid-July. No cook-off. No crowds. No endless booths selling trinkets and dust-collectors. Not even any bobble-head dolls. Events include:
– Sunrises and Sunsets as normal
– Gravity continuing to be in effect.
– The laws of physics on display.
– A sense of humor search.
I wonder what some alien from another planet might think from observing the Gilroy Garlic Festival or some other extreme annual celebrations I’ve just listed. If E.T. might be covertly studying us earthlings and trying to figure out what makes us tick, perhaps the extraterrestrial could do no better than by checking out some of America’s more uniquely-themed food extravaganzas.
