I don’t know about you, but this fall I’ve noticed an upgrade in
Halloween decorations. If you take a look around your block I bet
you’ll see that there’s not the usual ho-hum Styrofoam tombstones
and lit Jack O’ Lanterns.
I don’t know about you, but this fall I’ve noticed an upgrade in Halloween decorations. If you take a look around your block I bet you’ll see that there’s not the usual ho-hum Styrofoam tombstones and lit Jack O’ Lanterns.
Instead, there are nylon inflatable bats and monsters and witches. Yes, it’s true. Right this minute people all over the country are collectively breaking out the generators and air pumps to blow up giant spiders and witches and various other Halloweenish-type things.
Now, this might just be my bad attitude, but it seems there are many ways to add holiday cheer to your yard, and having a 10-foot grim reaper wafting on your front lawn isn’t one of them. Which brings me to the first and most obvious question, “Why do otherwise sane and rational people do this?” I can answer that in three little words: I. Don’t. Know. Then there’s the second, and much more answerable question, “Where in the heck do you buy all of these inflatables? I can also answer that in three simple words: On. The. Internet. You just Google “giant blow up stuff” or something like that, and voila! You will be bombarded with bazillions Web sites specializing in nylon inflatable decorations.
And, since I have heaps of curiosity and not much else going on in my life, of course I checked out the sites. My personal favorite was a company offering a realistic 20-foot inflatable Frankenstein on sale. Now I ask you, what part of a big green monster made from random body parts, with neck bolts and metal teeth, and has to be plugged in and blown-up falls into category of realistic? Oh, plueeeze. What is THAT about?
And, while we’re talking about unrealistic, another thing that confuses me about the whole Halloween inflatable movement is the confusing “ghost, witch, goblin in a snow globe” idea. Yes, you read, “snow globe.” I mean, what’s next? The Great Pumpkin sitting on a sleigh wearing a Santa hat? Or reindeers carved onto jack o’ lanterns? Or kids dressed as elves and trick-or-treating for candy canes? Come on people, it’s either Halloween or Christmas. Pick one!
The intriguing thing about inflatable decorations is that, much like video games and Courtney Love, each year they get more and more sophisticated. I mean, what probably started out as a festive Mylar balloon tied to a mailbox has morphed into a nationwide decorating movement. It’s fascinating really.
The other intriguing thing is that for some people, yard inflatables are not just decorations, they’re a way of life. Once they cross the line, there’s no turning back. Take, for instance, my friend Barb, who bought a modest three-foot pumpkin starter inflatable.
The next day a 7-foot mummy turned up in her neighbor’s yard. Barb countered with a 10-foot pumpkin with three ghosts on top. Then the neighbors down the street added a 15-foot Dracula riding a Harley. And so on.
I’m not going to say a word about what I think about all this, I’ll just say that I have only one Halloween decoration strewn about in my yard: cobwebs. OK, so maybe they’re not quite as impressive as a giant Grim Reaper, but, hey, they’re more realistic and, well, at least at my house, free.
Plus, the best part of all: they never have to fit back inside a box.
