Hundreds of men will make their way down the street, many
carrying signs, others simply walking and talking with friends.
They’ll be dressed in business suits, uniforms, T-shirts and
shorts, polos and jeans
– and, of course, their high heels.
Hundreds of men will make their way down the street, many carrying signs, others simply walking and talking with friends. They’ll be dressed in business suits, uniforms, T-shirts and shorts, polos and jeans – and, of course, their high heels.
The fifth annual Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event happens next week, and South Valley men will join other Bay Area guys in bringing awareness to sexual assault issues and raising money for the YWCA’s rape crisis center.
“It’s an awesome event that puts the problem of sexual assault in the spotlight,” said Jeff Clet, a Gilroy resident and battalion chief for the San Jose Fire Department. “I was co-chair of the event last year and this will be the fourth year I’ve participated. It’s pretty much a bunch of men getting together, putting on high heels and walking about a mile, so they’re literally putting themselves in a woman’s shoes. It’s a humorous way to bring attention to a serious topic.”
Last year, about 350 walkers raised approximately $25,000 for the rape crisis center, said Kathy Linton, spokesperson for the YWCA. Funds from the event help create new branches of the center, such as the branch at Stanford University, which opened two years ago. The money also buys sweat suits and clean underwear given to victims of rape who have their clothes taken away at the hospital or police station for forensic tests after an assault. The center also sends volunteers to hospitals where rape victims are being treated to act as support and as advocates for the victims.
“Of course, we’re happy that the event raises money for the rape crisis center, but the most important aspect of the walk is just to raise awareness,” Linton said. “Men are typically the perpetrators of rape, so this is a chance for men to take a stand and lead the charge, if you will, in making a difference and saying things need to change. Sexual assault has no social or economic boundaries – it can happen to you or me, to men or women. This walk is about standing up and saying sexual assault is not OK.”
Men either register in advance or at the event, then select from a wide assortment of shoes provided by the YWCA. The shoes have either been donated by stores such as Marmi in Palo Alto, or purchased from specialty shops in San Francisco or Nordstrom Rack stores.
Last year, Morgan Hill resident Mark Waxman walked for the fourth time and his 4-year-old son, Will, went along for the first time.
“You sacrifice a little bit of comfort and a little bit of pride to put on the shoes – it really is amazing how women walk in heels – and you get to be a part of a great cause,” he said. “A lot of people have a difficult time talking about topics that are painful and ugly by nature, but men walking around in women’s shoes is a much easier conversation to have, and anyone can participate.”
One of the most powerful parts of the walk is hearing a sexual assault survivor speak at the event because it puts a face and a story to the cause. Hearing survivors talk about their experiences brings home how important the rape crisis center’s services are, said Clet.
At the 2004 Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event, Morgan Hill resident Kimberly Isom was the guest speaker. It was just about a year after she was sexually assaulted.
“This event is so important because it helps people understand that sexual assault is not a women’s issue – it’s a community issue,” she said. “About 86 percent of sexual assaults have male perpetrators, so you could say it’s a men’s issue. The change has to start with men and these guys out there walking in high heels are saying they want to be part of the change. But really, everyone needs to be concerned about sexual assault.”
On April 27, 2003, Isom was in a Los Angeles club with a man she was dating at the time. Someone slipped GHB, also called “the date rape drug,” into her drink. When she passed out, the club owner wanted her out, so Isom’s date took her out to his car and put her in the back seat. He left her there, with the door unlocked, and went back inside to finish partying with his friends.
When Isom woke up, she was in a different car with strangers. Her immediate reaction was to fight and try to get away. To stop her from fighting back, the men beat Isom unconscious. When she woke up again, it was while she was being gang raped.
After the assault, the men dropped her off in a random part of downtown Los Angeles. Though her eyes were swollen almost completely shut, Isom made her way to a taco stand where someone called the police for her. Her attackers were never found and three weeks later, when Isom was back in the Bay Area, she began counseling at the YWCA’s rape crisis center.
“My hat’s off to the YWCA – I don’t know where I’d be today without them,” Isom said. “My counselor, Jen Adler, saved my life. Your brain doesn’t know how to react to something like rape. We aren’t hardwired to deal with that. There was a time I really, truly thought I was going crazy, but Jen helped me realize there’s no quick fix to surviving sexual assault and that feeling that way was just my mind trying to cope. She helped me start healing.”
Isom said she hoped the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event continues to grow every year and that people become aware just how many people are affected by sexual assaults every day.
“Some men might be intimidated by wearing heels because it’s not ‘manly’ or whatever, but they should wear those heels with pride,” she said. “Wearing those heels and taking a stand against sexual assault is the most manly thing they’ll ever do.”
