We’ve all been there: enjoying a peaceful dinner at a nice
restaurant, only to be interrupted by an incoming group of loud,
chatty diners, who, of course, plop down at the table right next to
you. Or intently listening to the Sunday morning sermon when
somewhere in the church, a cell phone rings
– or, more accurately, starts to sing the tune of the latest pop
song. We’ve compiled a list of 10 things that are enough to make
almost anyone’s blood boil – and some advice on how to deal.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering how some people could be so rude, you’re not alone. We’re right there with you, and we’ve compiled a list of the top 10 things that irritate us to the point of exasperation.
It’s fun to kvetch occasionally, and that’s just what we’re going to do. But remember, the worst part is knowing that, at one point or another, we’ve all been that idiot, too.
Dining under the influence
“So then, after my stint in the Peace Corps … ” Spare us. Loud talkers, especially those chatting away on cell phones in restaurants and supermarkets, need an extra accessory: duct tape. We’re sure they’re really nice and worthy of all the attention they’re attracting, especially as they go on and on about every achievement or accolade they’ve ever earned, but they’re robbing us of our appetites.
Space invaders
Some people just don’t know where to draw the line between their space and yours. For instance, is 9:30pm the appropriate time to be selling carpet cleaning solutions door to door? We think not, but that doesn’t stop some solicitors, according to Hollister resident Ryan Sullivan, a 30-year-old network engineer.
“It was night and my daughter was asleep,” said Sullivan. “The outside lights were off, and they knocked. This guy said something like, ‘My boss is making me do this. I’m sorry for the late hour.’ But it was like, ‘This is carpet cleaning. It can wait.’ He seemed to kind of say ‘Whatever’ and move on to the next house.”
Treating another person’s time, or that person’s things, like they’re yours is only acceptable if you’ve been invited to do so. And, no, you’re not welcome to borrow that cute black dress of ours on Saturday night.
Um … so what’s good?
We live life in a rush. Well, at least most of us do until we get stuck in line behind some poor, befuddled person in a coffee shop or, worse yet, drive through. With endless hemming and hawing, he or she may tempt otherwise sane people to start humming the “Jeopardy!” theme song.
Back off!
Tailgating is among the most annoying driving distractions, and, although the Department of Motor Vehicles recommends calmly changing lanes or pulling over to the side of the road, we’re still tempted take the more juvenile route – taking the foot off the gas or using the trusty turn-on-the-windshield-washer-to-spray-your-car routine.
On the other hand, if you’re being tailgated, remember to think about how your actions are affecting others. “The other day I was behind this person who was sightseeing instead of driving,” said Annette Lewis, a 32-year-old Gilroyan and self-employed manicurist. “They were going five miles per hour right before the Kohl’s parking lot (just before the entrance to Gilroy Crossing shopping center) like they’d never seen the place before.”
Backside views
We know it’s not nice to have your view blocked at an event, but don’t sit your 5-foot, 1-inch kiester down behind someone who happens to be 6-foot, 4-inches and whine about your not-so-clear line of sight. Offer to trade seats with someone taller, find a new spot or bite your lip, shortstuff. Don’t worry, either. You can still flex some righteous attitude at appropriate times, like when the person in front of you refuses to sit down during a graduation ceremony, spills beer on you after they’ve gotten wildly intoxicated or decides to don a 3-foot balloon hat they bought midway through the event.
God’s call
The awe, the wonder, the … sounds of Britney Spears? Cell phones that go off during events and ceremonies are more than annoying, they’re downright rude. Case in point: polyphonic ring tones may be a creative way of expressing a person’s tastes and feelings, but the last time we checked, “Hit Me Baby One More Time” wasn’t listed in many church hymnals. Few people, with the exception of doctors or the president, really need their cell phones at all times, so do us a favor and turn off the phone or, better yet, leave it in the car the next time you attend a wedding, funeral or house of worship.
May I cut in?
Apparently, a few people were absent in kindergarten the day everyone else got taught how to stand in line. How else would we explain such irritating behavior as
cutting or driving on the shoulder? Forgivable only in real emergencies – you know, woman in labor, friend in need of medical attention, cat having hairball attack in back seat – some people seem to think it’s a shortcut to work. We think they need a sign, just to make sure people know they’re coming. It has to be something that speaks the truth, like a bright yellow bumper sticker proclaiming, “Caution: arrogant, self-important git aboard.”
Loogie launchers
If you must spit, do so in your sink, your toilet, your trashcan, but please don’t do it anywhere else. That’s because public spitting, kind of like coughing or sneezing without covering your mouth in some way, is pretty nasty and, by our estimation, rude. How, phlegm-fliers may ask? Perhaps because it’s filled with the bacteria from your mouth, which has quite a lot. We’d appreciate it if you’d keep it to yourself.
Suburban wildlife
The urban landscape may not include regular sightings of deer, snakes, feral pigs or much of the other wildlife that inhabits the hills of the South Valley, but there are other animals that roam a city. Dogs, cats and other animals left to wander the town not only end up as splats on the highway, they also irritate the neighbors.
“We live kinda out in the country, and people let their dogs run loose all the time,” said Vic Franchi, a 48-year-old computer consultant in Gilroy. “We keep ours fenced up, but when we’re out on a walk, we’ll run into all of these other dogs that aren’t on leashes or anything. It makes me kinda mad that I can’t enjoy the neighborhood because I feel people are being careless with their pets.”
Guaranteed employment
Ever run across a dirtied table at McDonalds, a jumbled pile of clothes in an otherwise nice dressing room or someone who thinks its a good idea to throw used napkins out the window of a car zipping down the freeway? Chances are, when confronted, that person might rationalize the choice, claiming that janitors and cleaning crews wouldn’t have work if it weren’t for patriotic litterbugs. Balderdash! Do what your mama told you and pick up after yourself!
Keeping it Together
Rude behavior can bring out the worst in our own behavior, but rather than reacting in anger, ask yourself why something is bothering you and whether you can do anything about it, said Patricia Ayers, director of outpatient medical for Community Solutions in Morgan Hill.
“Consider what you have control over and what you don’t have control over,” said Ayers. “If you feel the person is invading your personal space, be direct. Use a very clear ‘I’ message with the person and say something like, ‘I would really like to enjoy my dinner, but it makes it really hard to do so with you talking so loudly on the phone.’ State the issue and how you feel, and, if possible, give an alternative behavior.”
If you cannot do anything about the other person’s actions, do what you can to distance yourself from the person by reminding yourself you have no control over the situation, taking deep breaths or even changing your behavior to avoid the irritation, Ayers said. Otherwise, you can just act like us and periodically vent your frustrations.
