The birth of her son as a teen brought Melissa Mendoza a
positive outlook
– and now, at 22, the Healing Hearts Award for her triumph over
adversity
By Sheila Sanchez, Special to the Dispatch
San Jose – Melissa Mendoza lost her innocence in the summer of 2000. She was 16 years old when, right before she was about to begin her junior year of high school, she became pregnant.
The pregnancy was preceded by an unsuccessful freshman and sophomore year punctuated by too many school absences, rebellious spouts with her parents and too much time alone with a longtime boyfriend.
Today, the reserved 22-year-old brunette with big brown eyes attributes her teen pregnancy to lack of structure while growing up.
Luckier than most teen mothers, her divorced parents were supportive when they learned that “their baby was having a baby.”
In January 2001 she gave birth to a baby boy named Daniel. Adoption was never considered.
Mendoza quickly found maturity.
She became so sensible and trustworthy that the Morgan Hill-based Community Solutions nonprofit organization will be presenting her with its annual Healing Hearts Award at a luncheon Friday at the Coyote Creek Golf Club. The award honors former agency clients who triumph over personal adversity.
“Once you have a child and you’re young, you have to learn to make sacrifices and think about your baby and put him first,” she said, with her 5-year-old playful son in tow. “All your decisions are based on how they will affect him.”
Mendoza is not alone in her struggle. Although teen pregnancy rates have declined in the country in the past few years, about 34 percent of girls in the United States get pregnant, at least once, by age 20. Every year, it’s estimated 820,000 teen girls get pregnant.
The most difficult thing about being a mother so young is that the spirit is difficult to restrain and freedom is missed, she said, but when asked if she would change her fate, she answers negatively.
“It would have been nice to have had him a couple of years down the line. … but he’s made me a better person,” she said. “It helps to always stay positive. I want my son to have everything that he wants. I want him to have a good life. I know things will eventually work themselves out no matter how hard they are.”
After the pregnancy she lived with her mother for more than a year, but soon realized she needed to be independent.
At the beginning of 2002, her father told her about Community Solutions.
The agency offers counseling services, prevention, education, crisis intervention and housing programs for families, children and individuals. It works with community-based organizations, law enforcement, local schools and county health and human service providers. Last year the agency helped more than 12,000 people improve their lives by becoming self-reliant.
While living in the program’s housing unit, located in Gilroy, she learned about the struggles of other teen mothers who were constantly supervised by a “house monitor,” an agency employee who supervised the young women.
She also participated in the agency’s family advocate program, which works to prevent child abuse and neglect by assisting teen mothers to build strong and loving foundations.
She was in the program for a year. Only one other girl, besides her, graduated from the program. Human service providers, however, praise the program for reaching vulnerable young women.
She says although it was difficult to get used to living in a house with other teen mothers, she constantly reminded herself that she was there to become a better mom.
“The program is really good. It teaches you responsibility. You learn to follow rules and it’s very structured. It taught me to meet goals and stuff that I wanted to accomplish in my life,” Mendoza said.
While in the program she earned her high school diploma in the summer of 2003. Through independent study classes she completed two years of high school in one year.
An agency family advocate helped her learn her way around Gilroy, obtain a driver’s license and buy her first car.
She worked at two jobs while in the program. She also enrolled at Gavilan College where she earned a medical billing certificate. After she graduated from the program, her family advocate helped her find an apartment and learn to live on her own by paying her bills on time, keeping a house, raising her child and working to support herself.
She’s been living on her own for more than two years in San Jose. She just purchased a new car and she’s been working for the same employer for more than a year.
“Before this I had never been able to keep a job. I was kind of irresponsible. I didn’t go if I didn’t feel like it,” she said.
Mendoza said the agency also taught her to make better choices and not to make excuses for failures.
Looking back, Mendoza says the biggest lesson she’s learned from her teen pregnancy is that it’s important in life “to make the right choices.”
She’s considering returning to school next semester to take general education classes and pursue a bachelor’s degree in the future.
“It’s an honor to recognize Melissa for her achievements,” said Erin O’Brien, chief executive officer for Community Solutions. “Melissa’s fierce determination and independence to create a better life for her and her son is rewarding and a reminder of why we do what we do.”
Cecilia Clark, a spokeswoman for the agency, said, Mendoza “is an example of how individuals can change the course of their future given the right support and effective services and programs.”
About the award, Mendoza says, “It’s great for me to get this because of all I’ve had to overcome.”
Community Solutions is the most comprehensive human services and mental health agency serving South County. It provides services and programs in Morgan Hill, San Martin, Gilroy, South San Jose and parts of San Benito County, including Hollister. The agency was started as a teen drop in center in 1972 and has continued to grow and change over the years to meet the evolving needs of the area.
For more information about Community Solutions visit www.communitysolutions.org or call (408) 779-2113.
Teen Pregnancy Rate by Nationality in State and County
California (rate per 1,000)
African American/Black 40.5
Asian 13.2
Caucasian/White 14.3
Hispanic/Latino 66.1
Native American 31.9
Pacific Islander 34.4
Multiracial 38.2
Santa Clara County (rate per 1,000)
African American/Black 15.9
Asian 7.8
Caucasian/White 3.7
Hispanic/Latino 65.8
Native American LNE*
Pacific Islander LNE*
Multiracial 21.8
*LNE (Low Number Event) means that the number of births is less than 20. (Source: Kidsdata.org is a Lucille Packard Foundation for Children’s Health.
