**final print version of this story needs to be posted online
I met the future love of my life when I was in high school.
Steve was my fellow North Salinas High School student, and we were both taking philosophy from a brilliant WWII veteran named Mr. Naccarato. My new acquaintance and I found ourselves doing homework in the library together, animatedly discussing questions like, “What is truth?” and “What is love?”
As we became friends, we discovered that we had a lot in common. We had both attended the same junior high school; our fathers had both graduated from our rival, Salinas High; and we were both third generation Salinas residents.
He let me know he had a crush on me, but I was too busy dating other guys who seemed more dangerous and exciting, and didn’t really give him a chance. I gave him the “Just Friends” speech more than once, so he gave up on the idea of anything romantic. We both went on to Hartnell College, where once again we did our homework together, this time in Logic and Computer Science.
We went to our first rock concerts together, and our first Christian concerts. I met his family, visited his grandparents in southern CA, and stayed at his aunt’s house. Just before going to bed, his little elderly Japanese Aunt Helen came into each of our rooms to admonish us, “No hanky panky!”
We both cracked up because we knew she had nothing to worry about. We were just friends.
The years passed, and we each went off to separate universities.
Then, one day, I was walking across the quad and looked up, and there he was! He had come for a surprise visit. He kept in touch no matter what and would stay with my fellow roommates and me on overnight visits.
The amazing thing to me was that he seemed to never tire of being the shoulder to cry on or the listening ear when my other relationships didn’t work out. Various boyfriends came and went. Steve was still there. I kept hoping to find love and kept diligently searching for the right man, for “the one.” Meanwhile, Steve was still there.
Finally, one day as I was recovering from a painful break-up of a longterm relationship – one I previously expected might lead to marriage – I thought to myself, “Isn’t it amazing that Steve is still here for me?”
Suddenly, a flash of brilliant light illuminated my mind. What if Steve was meant to be more than just a good shoulder for my sob stories? It was as if blinders had been taken off. I thought about all his good qualities, how much we enjoyed ourselves, how we never ran out of things to talk about, how he was supportive and helpful and a good listener. He was dependable and reliable and trustworthy. We always had fun together and he could make me laugh no matter what. Was it possible that “the one” had been right under my nose all the time? Suddenly, I realized how attractive he was.
But how could I let him know that things might be changing? We had been friends for 11 years; he had given up on that long ago and would not risk being rejected again. I decided to write a letter. I told him that if he still wanted to, he should not be afraid to ask me out on a date.
He asked me out on June 13 of that year. We held hands for the first time. Then he asked me to go steady. I said yes. We had our first kiss.
Thirteen days after our first date, we got engaged. He got down on one knee and proposed. When we told our friends, they were astonished and said, “We didn’t even know you were dating!”
Then they said, “Yet, we’re not that surprised because we’ve seen what a good time you two have as friends for a long time.”
They all pitched in and gave us their talents as our wedding gifts: they sang, played keyboards, guitar, and flute, made my wedding bouquet, rented the getaway car for us, had my dream cake made (with a tiny working fountain flowing in the middle of it), and filled the reception hall with lavender and silver balloons. I wore one grandmother’s engagement ring and the other grandmother’s wedding ring.
In the end, after we opened all the cards filled with wedding money given to us by my new Japanese relatives, we had made a profit on the wedding!
It’s been 23 years now since that day. It’s been 35 years since we became friends. He still supports my every endeavor, he still listens to my sob stories, we still go to concerts, and he still makes me laugh every single day.
So, on this Valentine’s Day, I say to all those lonely hearts out there, could “the one” be right there under your nose? You just might want to give the nice guys a second look.
