Dear Gov. Schwarzenegger
– or may I call you
”
Arnie
”
:
Dear Gov. Schwarzenegger – or may I call you “Arnie”:
I’d like to discuss with you some ideas I’ve had of late that would help promote the communities of Gilroy, Hollister, Morgan Hill, San Martin and San Juan Bautista. I’d like to propose some creative “state official” endorsements for our South Valley region.
Earlier this month, you vetoed a bill by Sen. Carole Migden that would have officially declared zinfandel to be “California’s Historic Wine.” Although zin has a connection to the Gold Rush era, you quite diplomatically stated our great state has several world-class varietals. “It would be a shame to recognize only one as California’s Historic Wine,” you said.
Well, Arnie, that got me curious about all this “state official” naming biz. So, I did a little research and discovered the “Golden State” (the official state nickname) has a plethora of proclamations.
For example, the official state motto appearing on the official state seal is “Eureka!” The Greek word means “I found it!” Apparently, it refers to what the forty-niner gold miners – at least those from Greece – shouted when they uncovered a good-sized nugget.
The official state mineral is … you guessed it, gold. The state flower is the golden poppy, another reference to our unofficial obsession with the mythical Midas’ favorite metal.
You might assume the state’s official song is “California, Here I Come,” but it’s not. It’s “I Love You, California,” a little ditty written to promote the 1915 Exposition in San Francisco. Its opening lyrics go like this:
“I love you California, you’re the greatest state of all; I love you in the winter, summer, spring and in the fall; I love your fertile valleys, your dear mountains I adore; I love your grand old ocean, and I love your rugged shore.”
Sheesh, Arnie. Please. Let’s come up with an official state song that’s a lot less … “girly-man.”
Going on, California’s natural world holds quite a few “official” designations. The official state animal is the California grizzly bear – the last one killed in Tulare County in 1922. The state bird is the California quail, an avian critter we often see scampering the ground here in the South Valley. The state fish … the golden trout. The state marine mammal … the California gray whale. The state reptile … the desert tortoise. The state tree … the California redwood.
Befitting California’s reputation for, er, eccentricity, the official list contains quite a few oddball designations. The official state dance is the West Coast Swing. The official folk dance is square dancing. Our state’s official fossil is the saber-toothed cat, found abundantly in the famous La Brea tar pits. The official state prehistoric artifact is an 8,000-year-old chipped stone bear found in 1985 in San Diego County.
The official state soil is San Joaquin soil. The official state tartan is the California tartan, based on the Muir Clan tartan to honor John Muir, the famous California naturalist who was born in Scotland. And, in case you were wondering, the official state fife and drum band is the California Consolidated Drum Band.
Anyway, reading the official state list of “state officials,” I got to wondering how South Valley could enhance this rollcall. OK, we already have one official designation here. The official state gemstone is “Benitoite,” a rare blue-colored stone first discovered in San Benito County. Apparently, some folks in New Idria believe this crystalline rock somehow attracts UFOs. Hey, this is Cal-ee-forn-ya, as you might say in your Austrian accent, Gov.
But why stop at Benitoite? Here in the South Valley, we have tons of opportunities for official designations. For example, Morgan Hill, the Mushroom Capitol of the World, would be proud to volunteer one of its mushroom species as the official “state fungus.” Gilroy, which advertises itself as the Garlic Capitol of the World, could proclaim the California Early clove as the official “state herb.”
Gilroy is also famous for its retail stores and outlets. People journey from all over to spend money in the gauntlet of shops along Highway 101. I propose we officially designate Gilroy as the state “consumer mecca.”
And the area that’s now the community of San Martin happens to be where Irish immigrant Martin Murphy once made his home. Murphy played an important role in our state’s early history. He came to California in 1844 on the first wagon train to cross the Sierra mountains. Unfortunately, without a good press agent (like you’ve had in your career, Mr. S.), Murphy’s not well-known. That’s why I recommend we give his image an uplift by designating the old pioneer as the official state “geezer.”
The South Valley inspires many other opportunities for official designations. For example, Hollister, a hotbed of geological activity, once proudly proclaimed itself “the Earthquake Capitol of the World.” In honor of the home of the Haybalers, let’s name the San Andreas Fault passing near the city as California’s official state “geological feature.”
And the community of San Juan Bautista is one of the best places to learn about California’s colorful early history. Its beautiful mission showcases the Spanish era. Its state historic park helps visitors step back in time to the Californio days. That’s why I suggest we designate San Juan Bautista as the official “state history town.”
And looking down upon that little mission town, on the ridge of the Gabilan Mountains rises Fremont Peak, the first place the American flag was ever raised on California soil. I propose we assign Fremont Peak esteemed status as the official “state mountain.”
Indeed, Arnie, we’ve got lots of opportunities for “official-dom” around here. The special designations I’ve suggested for the South Valley would definitely help increase awareness of our beautiful region of the state – and bring in some tourist dollars.
So what do you say, Gov.? Won’t you help us out by adding various South Valley features to the official state roster? As a former action-movie star, why don’t you go into real action and sign away on all those proclamations I’ve just suggested? Let’s make it official.
