Fall, it seems, is the prime time to strike up a relationship
with someone new: your child’s teacher.
Fall, it seems, is the prime time to strike up a relationship with someone new: your child’s teacher.
Open communication is key to developing a good relationship with your child’s instructors, and knowing what they’re up to may even help your child to perform better in school, according to three local educators. Here’s their advice on getting started.
Show up
It’s hard to develop a relationship with someone you’ve never met, so make a point of showing up. Back-to-school nights and parent-teacher conferences are opportunities to meet your children’s teachers that should not be missed. To indicate your interest in keeping up with classroom events, even if you are too busy to help out in the classroom, make sure to hand over contact information as well, recommended Pat Lerman, the South Valley’s regional representative for the California Federation of Teachers.
“Give them your cell phone number, your e-mail address and anything else you think is important,” Lerman said. “Let them know that you want to know what’s going on with your child and see what’s available. Some schools have started homework Web sites so that parents can check up on what’s due, and there may be other ways you can keep in touch.”
Parents should also inform teachers of any family issues or major changes that have taken place in a child’s life, said Tammy Gabel, principal of Antonio Del Buono Elementary in Gilroy. Separations, divorces, deaths in the family or major financial changes may effect their behavior, and an informed teacher will be more sensitive to their needs, she said.
Volunteer
The best way to solidify a relationship with your child’s teachers is by getting to know them on a professional level and getting to know the classroom demands they deal with. Giving two hours of your time to a child’s teacher each week can help you to develop much stronger ties than notes and phone calls, according to Bob Hammond, principal of Ladd Lane Elementary in Hollister.
“Parents and children have to take an equal responsibility with the school for children’s success,” said Hammond. “It can’t be just the school. It can’t be just the kid. Letting your children know that you’re interested and that you want to take a role in their education is vital.”
Even if parents work full-time, there are still ways to help out around the classroom, said Gabel. Parent volunteers who cannot make it to school during regular hours can still help by preparing class materials, aiding teachers with paperwork or volunteering for other school projects.
“We need help with our computers at school,” said Gabel. “We need help with our gardens. Parents have many different talents, and we can use them all.”
Maintain contact
As the school year wears on, keep in touch with your child’s teacher by checking your child’s backpack for announcements and writing notes or making calls, said Hammond. Just don’t go too far, he said.
Interrupting class time or placing phone calls to teachers during their off-time is not appropriate, Hammond said.
“Teachers have their own families, too, which isn’t to say that you can’t ever call them at home,” he said. “But in school, a teacher has anywhere from 20 to who knows how many kids in a class, and trying to have that communication when they’re responsible for all the children in a classroom is difficult. Try to do it around the school working hours before and after class.”
Keep a level head
If you run into trouble with your child’s teacher, do what your mother always told you: Go to the source.
“I’m a parent, so as a mom, I know that the mama bear sometimes comes out,” said Gabel. “But it’s a basic rule of life. If you have a problem with someone, go to the source. It eliminates a lot of misperceptions. I’d say 90 percent of the issues tend to be resolved that way.”
Before bringing your argument to a teacher, ask for their side of a story, and if you’re afraid that you’ll become upset, write down your thoughts beforehand or try waiting a day, Gabel advised.
“Our teachers work really hard, and they really want the best for students,” Gabel said. “They really don’t want to make mistakes, but accidents happen, mistakes happen and people lose their temper.”
Employing these strategies should help you to develop a better relationship with your child’s teacher, according to Gabel, Hammond and Lerman. Unfortunately, parents won’t always get along with every one of their children’s teachers. If you’ve talked to the teacher about a specific problem and feel it still cannot be resolved, visit the principal or a pertinent authority figure.
