The story of a woman who did it her way part III
The story of a woman who did it her way part III
“I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing…
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way.”
From “My Way,” by Frank Sinatra (written by P. Anka, J. Revaux, G. Thibault, C. Frankois).
“Did I ever tell you about the time I committed suicide?” Doris Kallas asked.
“No, no, I don’t think you did,” I sputtered, choking on the tea I had just swallowed.
“I was coming back from lunch one day,” she continued, “When a very dear friend of mine stopped me on the street and asked about taking over my job after I was gone.
“I asked her what she was talking about, and she told me she knew I had terminal cancer.”
Apparently no one else had wanted to tell Doris the bad news. Doris was stunned. She quickly got a hold of her own medical record, and there it was in black and white.
“It said there, ‘Terminal: two months to live.’ ” Doris told me. “We were very poor, very poor, Katie, and I thought by the time we paid for the X-rays and the cobalt treatments and all of that and then I would die anyway, it’s just too much for my family. So I committed suicide. Oh yeah. I took a bunch of painkillers.
“But it didn’t work. It gave me a terrible stomach ache. My husband John rushed me to the hospital.” Doris let out a big laugh. “The pain of getting your stomach pumped will cure you of committing suicide, let me tell you that!”
Doris never did die from the cancer, and it turned out the doctors were wrong about her being terminal – she lived for another 40 years.
At her surprise 90th birthday party, Doris was thrilled to find herself surrounded by so many children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and relatives of every sort. Many friends joined in, including members of her church and students of Doris’ granddaughter, local teacher Valerie Kelly.
“And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and ev’ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way.”
Summing up her life as our final conversation together drew to a close, Doris said she has really enjoyed life.
“I got to go on some wonderful travels. In Gilroy, I was in charge of the Baby Welfare Clinic and the local blood drive. Then I joined the Tuberculosis Association. I worked for Montgomery Ward, Moda Day Clothing Store, and the Ladies’ Toggery. I worked for the Santa Clara Valley Heart Conservation Project and the Stanford Heart Survey. I helped lobby for the four-way stop on Sixth Street, and I was a voting inspector for 12 years.
“I wanted to be a telephone operator, and I became one. I wanted to be a bookkeeper, and I became one. I wanted to be a nurse; I wanted to be a teacher; I wanted to be a politician; and I got to do all those things. There’s nothing I haven’t done that I wanted to do.”
If Doris had succeeded in ending her life many years ago, what a loss it would have been of the legacy she created through her love of her family, her generosity, her humor, her determination, her love of learning, her way of living life to the fullest, and her efforts to make a difference in her neighborhood, and in our community.
Both Doris and countless other people would have missed out on so much. I hope that Doris’ story makes anyone thinking of taking his or her own life think twice. I for one cannot imagine Gilroy without Doris and the legacy she leaves us.
