Parental wisdom and advice—also knowns as “Mom-isms”—were frequent back in the day, and often made my sister and I say, “What?”
In our house growing up, a sampling would be something like this:
“No, go fix your hair. Girls who wear side ponytails aren’t nice girls.” (I’m pretty sure we’re not allowed to print what she really said those girls are). OK, this was the late ’70s and early ’80s and side ponytails were as big as … leg warmers, Dove shorts and Pac-Man. And I was the only girl who still had to wear braids or sport a Dorothy Hamil ’do. Yet, we were allowed the occasional tube top. Go figure.
“Don’t play with Terry down the street, he’ll pull your pants down.” (What?) Keep in mind that Terry was a 7-year-old boy who did, in fact, run around naked in his front yard, but that’s another story. I was also 7. Mom must’ve gotten some sort vibe from him, because six months later, I was sitting in my bathroom with a washcloth over my right eye because Terry had scratched me, and Mom chastising me that she told me so. I still have the reminder of it to this day. Never mind that he could’ve pulled my tube top down.
It caused me to wonder what my kids will giggle about when they’re my age. What Mom-ism is so ludicrous that they simply demand to be put in print. I’d like to think that everything I impart is needlepoint pillow-worthy. Like this gem when my oldest was 7 and making me crazy with … Oh, who even listens, I don’t know.
“Katie, if you don’t knock it off, I’m taking away all of your books.”
Or to my youngest: “Kirk, I don’t like that kid you insist on playing with. He reminds me a used a used car salesman.” Again, this is me, talking to a 7-year-old. What’s up with 7-year-olds?
OK, I’ll say it for them; “What?”
I love relating Mom’s funny bits to my friends, especially friends who knew my mom and I am vindicated in my “What?”
Those Mom-isms sure have stuck with me, though. Never once, did I wear a side ponytail (out in public, anyway. I still had to see what the fuss was about), but this might explain why Katie has tons of books. Or why Kirk did in fact stop playing with that kid. Kids really do listen. Thanks, Mom!
Kelly Sinon, classifieds/legals
