GILROY
– When my editor told me that he needed someone to cover the
food at the Garlic Festival, I said,
”
Sure!
”
Unfortunately, I didn’t give him the chance to finish with
”
especially the really weird stuff.
”
GILROY – When my editor told me that he needed someone to cover the food at the Garlic Festival, I said, “Sure!”
Unfortunately, I didn’t give him the chance to finish with “especially the really weird stuff.”
Oops.
I knew being an over-eager intern would catch up to me at one point.
Full disclosure: Interns are regularly expected to do this sort of thing. Besides arguing with the copy machine and running errands of course.
So it was with some trepidation that I arrived at the Garlic Festival on Friday. I had heard horror stories about all kinds of strange delicacies: kangaroo, frog, wombat, alligator, rattlesnake, etc. But enough of what was in the Garlic Bologna. (Just kidding!)
Full disclosure: I was traumatized by bologna as a small child. Don’t ask. I still get nightmares.
But since the bologna has already been covered extensively by our staff (which apparently didn’t have anything better to do), I’m only going to write an entire separate article dedicated to the stuff.
To summarize, the sandwich tastes kind of like a hot dog and didn’t make me sick. I consider that as coming out ahead.
Emboldened by the success of the bologna misadventure, I wandered over to Enchanted Escargot, which sells (surprise!) escargot and mushrooms. Escargot, in English, means “where this car goes.”
Actually it’s snails. I bet you were happier with my interpretation.
Full disclosure: While the escargot was enchanted, the mushrooms, apparently, were not.
However, once again I was fooled. An apparently gross-sounding food item ended up tasting good. Actually, it mostly tasted like the garlic butter and mushrooms it was slathered in. Yeah!
The next tent I discovered was the Louisiana Cajun Lady, which offered a choice of alligator, kangaroo, frog, snake, wild boar and buffalo. All the dishes were served on a stick and wrapped in tin foil, which I’m sure is how indigenous Cajun cuisine is prepared.
Oh boy, oh boy! Unfortunately, I couldn’t eat everything, so I was forced to choose the kangaroo, frog legs and snake, on the basis that they were the first three listed.
The kangaroo tasted OK, but after the first bite I suffered a major guilt trip after I realized I was consuming the mascot of a children’s TV show. The frog’s legs were crunchy and seemed to be made solely of bone. Finally, there was the rattlesnake, which was battered, fried and tasted remarkably like KFC Popcorn Chicken.
This of course only leads me to wonder exactly what’s in KFC’s food.
At this point I’m sure that my breath could have been legally classified as a chemical weapon, so I decided: What better way to finish off the day than with some garlic ice cream?
No, seriously.
Apparently this year the folks at the Garlic Ice Cream shop had a new flavor: Garlic Roasted Almond. It was cold, creamy and tasted … remarkably like chicken.
At this point, I decided what I really needed, what I really, really needed, was a mint. And a Tums.
