”
A good resolution is like an old horse which is often saddled
but rarely ridden.
”
~ Mexican Proverb
“A good resolution is like an old horse which is often saddled but rarely ridden.”
~ Mexican Proverb
Personally, I don’t know very many people my age who still make radical New Year’s resolutions. We’ve promised and failed far too many times to convince ourselves that we can do something in one year that we couldn’t do in 50. We’ve discovered that life isn’t as much about fleeting victory over one personal vice as it is about embracing all aspects of the journey.
However, since I was looking for a column topic, I decided to devote this week’s 725 words to resolutions. Where in the history of humanity did the custom of self imposed edicts on New Year’s Eve begin and why do we keep parlaying a ritual that seems to hold such little lasting value?
Although celebrating the arrival of a new year goes back much farther, the tradition of making resolutions first appears in 153 B.C. and revolves around a mythical Roman figure named Janus. The Romans named the first month in their calendar year after this legendary character because he was considered “the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances.”
Janus was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. With that neat facial feature, he could look backward and forward at the same time! And, since he stood auspiciously in the doorway of the new year, Romans said he used his two faces to simultaneously look back reflectively over the last year and look forward optimistically toward the new one.
Roman citizens decided to model his “review and expect” attitude at midnight on Dec. 31 with two sets of actions. First, they wiped their relationship slate clean by pardoning last year’s enemies. Then, they sent gifts to neighbors, family and friends – special gifts that represented their wishes for happiness and good fortune in the soon to be new year.
Somewhere in the last 2000 years, we’ve turned those “other directed” traditions of forgiving and blessing into a custom that’s ostensibly “self” focused.
As you can see by reading the top 10 Most Common New Year Resolutions in America, ours pretty much revolve around the counterfeit trinity, “me, myself and I.” The goals are, in order of their popularity: lose weight, stop smoking, stick to a budget, save or earn more money, find a better job, become more organized, exercise more, be more patient, eat better and become a better person.
Millions of Americans will spend this weekend choosing one or more of those bold New Year’s resolutions even though they may have chosen the very same one last year and the year before but failed to keep it.
According to a University of Washington telephone survey, 63 percent of the folks who consistently make resolutions SAID that they kept last year’s for two months and 50 percent SAID they kept theirs all year.
(I include those numbers for entertainment purposes only because I don’t believe them for a minute. Maybe it’s because I’ve been trained in the social sciences where it’s been proven that what people “say” (the ideal) and what they “actually do” (reality) are often two completely separate things.)
If you’re planning to make some resolutions this year, professionals have some tips for you to consider: make sure your commitment to change is strong, have a plan in place to deal with the sure-to-surface problems and keep track of your progress.
These same professionals say there are some guaranteed failure ingredients: not thinking about your resolutions until the last minute, making a resolution based on what is bothering you at the moment and framing your resolution as an absolute by saying, “I will never do X again.”
Janus didn’t choose to look back and forward, he just did it because that’s how he was created. This Dec. 31, I made a choice to look back reflectively and then move forward with hope.
I made a choice to forgive everyone who harmed me
in thought, word or deed during 2005. After releasing my foes one by one, I used the same breath to send gifts (thoughts, words, prayers) to enemies, friends, and family: May your new year be everything you hope for as well as everything you wouldn’t think to request. May it be the doorway to realized dreams, healthy relationships and moments to remember.
