Your child is not doing well in school? It’s the teacher’s
fault, or the principal or the board.
Your child is not doing well in school? It’s the teacher’s fault, or the principal or the board. Perhaps it’s the unions, the lack of funding or some other reason. Parents are eager to blame others for their child’s failing. Politicians and media commentators are right behind with a call for better schools and better education when they just haven’t a clue when actually it’s the parent who shares the bulk of this responsibility.
As much as we blame teachers, I find parents at even greater fault, parents who care more about themselves and their leisure time then their own children. How many of you take an active role in your child’s education, know what’s been assigned, when projects are due, speak directly and meet with the teacher for better understanding?
How many monitor your children at home, play, TV, video games and friends? How many even know what kind of learner your child is, such as visual, verbal or kinesthetic or all three and work towards any weakness or strength? The concept of how we learn as an individual is incredibly misunderstood and yet remains the most significant strategy we could employ to enhance learning.
How many take their children on field trips that are aligned with the subject matter being taught? How many inspire to do more than the minimum, set purposeful examples, reward and compliment, encourage and help the learning process?
How many can even recognize when your child is having a problem or do you wait until you are surprised when the report cards are issued and it’s too late?
It’s easy for parents to blame others, that’s just the way it is. Today, we are overwhelmed and easily distracted by sports, hobbies, videos and TV programs such as the housewives of New York, D.C. or Cucamonga when we should be focused on what’s happening with our own children in our own households.
With exception of those families where both parents work, and work evening shifts and even have second or third jobs, many don’t have a reason or an excuse for the inability to fulfill their obligations as parents, though some would argue otherwise.
Parenting responsibilities, including providing moral guidance, values and psychological counseling have been given to schools and teachers and that’s a major problem.
So today, I am calling for a National Standard on Parenting, NSP. Parents will be tested on their skills, knowledge and abilities. Failure results in placing the entire household in receivership under the auspices of local authorities whereby parents will be sequestered to a dormitory and given mandatory training.
Failing to achieve the minimum goal, as verified by their child’s test score, the parents will be removed from the household entirely and be replaced by new parents. In many cases the children will not notice the change, except for succeeding in school and life.
All fun aside; having training classes for parents in understanding their responsibilities in this process is not a bad idea. Extending that training to compliment what teachers do in the classroom is a good one as well.
It’s time we take responsibility for our children, take an active role in what our child is learning, how they are learning, recognizing problems and opportunities, and when problems do present themselves, develop a written action plan of measurable strategies that the child, teacher and parent can agree to and implement.
Other than protection, parenting is not purely instinctive. It is a thoughtful, cautious and deliberate process. It is learned. We cannot rely on how we learned and expect our children to do the same. It’s not that simple. With such a myopic view, we will surely contribute to negligent parenting.
Bottom line, teachers are not parents; they cannot do what parents are supposed to do. They are only part of the bigger equation. So while we are eager to blame them, I blame ourselves for absolving our responsibilities. Now it’s time we take them back and time for the schools to give them back.
Mark Grzan, Morgan Hill
