Oh sure, we all know that many adults view the New Year as a
time to make a fresh start, and improve their lives through
resolutions. But what about kids? I mean, you never really hear a
child say,
”
Gee, this year I’m going to play fewer video games, earn some
extra credit in math class and improve my dodgeball game.
”
So, just for fun, here are resolutions we’d love to hear our
kids make, but never will.
Oh sure, we all know that many adults view the New Year as a time to make a fresh start, and improve their lives through resolutions. But what about kids? I mean, you never really hear a child say, “Gee, this year I’m going to play fewer video games, earn some extra credit in math class and improve my dodgeball game.”
So, just for fun, here are resolutions we’d love to hear our kids make, but never will.
Resolutions you’ll never hear from your preschooler:
I won’t whine.
I’ll sit quietly in the grocery cart.
I’m giving up candy.
I’ll always go to bed cheerfully and on time.
I will keep all of my Legos sorted by color in the appropriately labeled box.
I won’t put my feet on the good sofa.
I will never, ever wear cowboy boots with a dance leotard and a feather boa.
I will always make sure I’m buckled tightly into the car seat.
I will not call anyone “Boogernose.”
I will always share my toys.
I’m giving up macaroni and cheese.
I will potty train myself.
I will not shove peas up my nose.
I will never, ever announce my mom’s weight in public.
Resolutions you’ll never hear from your child in grade school:
I’ll brush my teeth after every meal.
I’ll never be late for school.
I won’t spit in the drinking fountain.
I will do my math homework before even thinking about playing outside.
I won’t watch so many cartoons.
I will practice the piano for two hours a day purely because of the joy I feel from learning music.
I’ll always eat all of my meatloaf because I feel guilty about all of the starving refugees in China.
I won’t put ladybugs in the crisper drawer.
I’ll help do the dishes every day.
I’ll save up all of my allowance to help support my parents when they’re old.
Resolutions you’ll never, ever hear from your teenager:
I will try to be more like my parents.
I’ll always turn out the light when I leave the room.
I will wear whatever clothes my mom buys for me.
I will give up shopping so I can spend all of my free time helping out around the house.
This summer I’ll stay in my room and read Tolstoy.
I’ll give up wearing low-cut bell-bottom jeans.
I will accept all of my parent’s advice with grace and good humor.
I’ll clean the car more often.
I’m reducing my allowance.
I will be out of bed by 6 a.m. every day.
I will only listen to classical music.
I will put other people’s needs ahead of my own.
I will join the Math Club to brush up on my pre-algebra skills.
I’ll put my money in the bank instead of wasting it on things like trashy clothes and Britney Spears CDs.
(And my personal favorite) I will accept that my parents are always right.
