What is it about dining with a vegetarian that makes me want to
order beef tartar? Or pull back my gums to reveal the carnivore
teeth within? Of course the vegetarians across the table were
convinced I’m an inhumane beast.
What is it about dining with a vegetarian that makes me want to order beef tartar? Or pull back my gums to reveal the carnivore teeth within? Of course the vegetarians across the table were convinced I’m an inhumane beast.
It started with a few writers and professors from a local university gathering at a Thai restaurant in San Jose for a meal to encourage camaraderie. It was suggested that we all pass around the menu ordering one or two dishes to share family style. Well, the family came from different countries – one from herbivoreland and one from omnivoreland. One of my friends at the table I knew to be a vegetarian but not in the “I’m a vegetarian and you should be too” realm. The other two vegetarians, a husband and wife, made no bones about their life choice and grimaced when the roasted chicken flew to the table in the hands of the unknowing Thai waitress.
“Oh, please move it,” said the V-wife when it landed in front of her place setting. Her face contorted into an ugly grimace. Not knowing what type of dinner conversation the vegetarians might enjoy, I launched into my story of the San Martin socialite hitting a wild boar on Christmas and serving it up for her family. I found out this vegetarian community does not advocate conservation-minded road-kill diets. The other meat eaters at the table were snickering under poultry-laden breath.
Local children’s writer, Dave Keane, a guest at the Thai table, found the tofu to be a new taste he won’t soon forget (or be able to scrape from his tongue) but a bit like Near Beer in it’s quest to be a protein substitute – flat and unquenching. Of course, the vegetarians dared to complain at the table about vegans. As one stated, “They’re impossible to please.” And I’m sure the vegans would be in an uproar if they had to endure dining with a level five vegan: “one that doesn’t eat anything that casts a shadow.” (“The Simpson’s” – Lisa the Treehugger episode). One redeeming value in the vegan community I found were the very cute and fashionable vegan shoes on www.ragazzivegan.com. I never knew vegans had such good taste in footwear! So my advice for eating with vegetarians? Stick to conversations about music and the arts (but avoid a discussion about Carnival of the Animals and the latest revival of Little Shop of Horrors – it’s inhumane that a plant would consume a person).
Consuming everyone’s attention at the birthday party of Morgan Hill resident Peggy Schnorr were the two Argentinean-style Tango dancers (Argentine being a BIG meat-eating country), Sue Flanagan (sometimes known as Elena) and her dancing partner, Bernardo Lucero, left the guests of the party slack-jawed at the improvised, sultry movements on the floor of the Community Center party room. I could almost swear I saw Presbyterian Pastor Mark Inouye cross himself. The Schnorr’s, both dance enthusiasts, made sure all of their guests had a chance to show off their moves with a swing dance lesson and I must say I was impressed with the nearly 100 percent participation of the male guests. Couples out on the dance floor included Mike and Dana Miller, Paige and Paul Cisewski, Michelle and Dave Sampson, Bruce and M.J. Taylor, Aaron and Melissa Blas, and Melody and Steve Hofer.
Famished from all the dancing, I dug into the teriyaki beef sticks and fish tostadas on the food table wondering if the vegans sell dance shoes.
Ciao for now.
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