I never tell anyone that I listen to country music. It isn’t
something you say to family, friends or people you meet. It’s like
telling them you enjoy eating pieces of metal you find on the
ground.
I never tell anyone that I listen to country music. It isn’t something you say to family, friends or people you meet. It’s like telling them you enjoy eating pieces of metal you find on the ground.
People think you’re a bonehead if you admit liking country music. But there’s a lot of misunderstanding about what I consider good country music. For openers, I don’t listen to the stuff they play on the radio. And there is something called “Country Music Television.” I don’t watch it.
I don’t listen to Toby, Alan, Keith, Tim, Faith, Shania or Brad. Saying you listen to them is like telling people that Exxon is your favorite gasoline or Crest is your favorite toothpaste. They are products. They have no meaning. They dress just so and they are too good-looking.
No real person is too attractive, even in a rugged way. Real people have lines and wrinkles because they worry that even a broken toe could bring on ruinous health-insurance costs.
If you are expecting me to make a joke about pickups, dogs and cheating, you are mistaken. I’m not a dog guy, my pickup has only four cylinders and I’ve been lucky on the cheating thing.
The country music I like deals with real-world emotional complexity. These issues fall into three general categories: relationship songs, lonely songs and incomprehensible demoralization songs. Some songs overlap into other categories.
Here are two of my favorite relationship songs:
– “She Ran Out of Give Before I Ran Out of Take”
– “Somebody Ought to do Something About That Guy”
Those are both by a guy named Phil Lee. He is thin, has loads of tattoos and has obviously experienced some unusual relationships. You can’t buy his stuff in a store, I don’t think.
Here are two of my favorite lonely songs:
– “Pick Me Up on Your Way Down”
— “Welcome to Rock Bottom (population: one)”
I won’t say who sings these because the guys are unknown and it doesn’t matter. Just believe it when I say these songs soothe a bruised soul.
Here are two of my favorite incomprehensible demoralization songs:
— “I’m The Why She’s Gone”
— “She Took a Lot of Pills and Died.”
These songs speak at a deep level to anyone who has loved, lost or failed to locate their vehicle at an outlet center parking lot.
There is a special type of song that cuts into every category, mood and life situation. That, of course, is the drinking song. Every culture, every language has drinking songs. You don’t have to drink to feel the layers of meaning and appreciate their universal nature. You only need to be old enough to have regrets about a dumb thing you said.
Here are two of my favorite drinking songs:
— “I Get Smarter Every Drink”
— “Two Drinks on an Empty Stomach”
Those are by a guy named Lonesome Bob. He is a hulking sort of fellow who may be disturbed, but he sure has a way with words.
Most of these songs have a shuffling or swinging rhythm and a guitar that twangs so deep it’s like snapping rubber bands just outside your ears. Radio does not allow this type of thing.
But it speaks to me. For many years I was unwilling to admit it. If someone asked what I was listening to these days, I’d say, “Oh, you know, John Coltrane, Coldplay, the Fugees, Barbra Streisand.” But I was actually listening to a song like “What the Lord Hath Wrought (Any Fool Can Knock Down).”
It’s country. American music. I try to keep it to myself. People wouldn’t understand.
