Psalm 133:1 says,
”
It is truly wonderful when relatives live together in peace.
”
Most of us would add,
”
it would also be a miracle!
”
Psalm 133:1 says, “It is truly wonderful when relatives live together in peace.” Most of us would add, “it would also be a miracle!” But let’s put this into perspective: roll the video tape of your life ahead to the day you will die. Imagine being on your deathbed and being asked to name the most memorable moments of your life.
My guess is that you wouldn’t name the day you got your first car or the time you got the big raise or the day you bought your first house. No, most of those memories would focus on relationships: “I remember the day I met my wife …” “I remember the day my son was born …” “I remember the day my daughter was married …”
And if we were asked a follow-up question about the most painful moments of our life, again, we would be drawn to memories of our relationships. For some of us it would be the day our mate died, or our mom or dad or a brother or sister or friend. For some of us, it would be the day when the reality of the divorce set in.
Our highest highs and lowest lows revolve around relationships. For the next several weeks we will focus on how we can build and sustain relationships, and a good place to start is with some simple principles God gives us in the Bible.
We might call the first one the “priority of love” principle. 1 Peter 4:8 says, “Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it.”
Is love the dominant value in your life? Does it overshadow all other values? Most of us can’t say it does.
I know a Christian man who just this week was approached by his wife with some bad news. She was looking for comfort, but he was in such a pragmatic mode that instead of offering her love and support, he went into problem-solving mode on how to “fix” her pain. I can’t reveal his name, but I can say he looks a whole lot like the guy I see in the mirror every morning!
The Bible teaches that the central measuring rod by which God will assess our lives is the measuring rod of love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says, “There are three things that will endure: faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love.”
In that same passage, Paul said that it didn’t matter what great things he accomplished; if love was not his primary motivation, he had wasted his time.
We all need to be moving toward a place where we speak lovingly more often, and with less hesitation and less worry of being misunderstood.
This principle also suggests that we better think very carefully about what we are willing to break up a relationship over. Is money enough of an incentive to destroy a relationship? From what I’ve seen in many families, it would appear the answer is often, “yes.”
What about a rumor or an unkind word? Are these sufficient cause to end a relationship? I’ve seen old friendships dissolve over one rumor or unkind word.
What about an insensitive or dumb act? I’ve seen marriages end over one stupid action.
What about a breach of trust? I’ve seen parent/child relationships permanently scarred by one breach of trust.
I can’t give you specific answers to every situation you are going to face, but we would all do well to consider long and hard before we allow something to take priority over love.
If you commit today to make love your top priority, you will immediately change all your relationships for the better.
Henry Harris is lead pastor of Rolling Hills Community Church, 330 Tres Pinos Road in Hollister. If you have questions or comments, please visit the church Web site at www.rollinghillsfamily.com, e-mail pa*********@****************ly.com or call (831) 636-5353.
