What a grand idea: a “destination” birth. When my son, Sean, and his wife, Casey, suggested that their second child—already named Sasha—be born in Cape Town, South Africa, my wife Kathy and I were excited.
From Gilroy, we would arrive a couple of weeks before the due date, see the sights, celebrate their first daughter, Kait’s, 2nd birthday, water birth Sasha and complete the paperwork to get Sasha legally out of South Africa and back to their home in Uganda.
Kait was born in Kenya because of its great medical care and Cape Town’s medical establishment had an even better reputation. Along with enjoying the company of our family, whom we don’t see as often as we like, we would get to enjoy part of their summer in one of the most beautiful and modern places in all of Africa. Our primary “task” was to help take care of Kait while mom and dad took care of the rest.
All went just as planned. On Feb. 11, Sasha was born encased in her water sac and dispelled into a warm water bath. This type of birth is called a Caul birth and happens one in 80,000 births. Her gentle entrance into the world is considered lucky.
When we arrived at the hospital with Kait to greet them, all seemed well. Mom and Sasha were getting ready to be discharged, Sasha having a great Apgar score and breastfeeding like a trooper.
Unbeknownst to Kathy and I, their pediatrician—almost as an afterthought—suggested one more test, which would take a week to get the results, might be wise, though he told them that he didn’t suspect it would produce any significant results. We left the hospital with our special little bundle of joy. Even the paperwork, which can be difficult and time consuming, went particularly well.
A week after Sasha’s birth, Kathy and I traveled to Robben Island to see the place where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned, while Sean, Casey, Kait and baby Sasha lunched with old friends. On our return, they told us that we needed to return to the hospital for an appointment. It was only after we parked that they revealed the results of the test: Sasha had Down Syndrome.
We had no inkling this was even a possibility and all of us were stunned. Further tests revealed that she also had a serious heart defect—a complete atrioventricular septal defect (AVSD)—which would require open heart surgery within about six months.
The news was devastating, such a marked contrast to the previous three joyous weeks. What do you say to your own child who has just gotten such news? I was at a loss for words.
The music stopped.
There was a flurry of activity for days, sorting through what absolutely needed to be done and the options available for Sean and Casey. Phone calls and emails to family members, friends, doctors, insurance companies, online research about Down Syndrome and AVSD consumed our days, quiet reflection our evenings. Decisions had to be made.
Then, the whole situation “morphed” around the central question: “Why us?” Sean and Casey said, “Why NOT us?” They are a young couple with resources and experiences that would be helpful in raising Sasha and, as such, the whole family stood to grow with this challenge.
Hadn’t they both faced bigger hurdles during their shared experience as Peace Corps volunteers in The Gambia? Casey’s experience as a teacher in International Schools and Sean’s years spent in UNICEF as a “child survival specialist” had well prepared them for this. They were the right people for the special challenges of helping a “special needs” child thrive. They also realized that special needs children also often have special gifts. We had all fallen in love with Sasha and none of that had changed with the diagnosis. The house was again filled with music.
Kathy and I came back to Gilroy and they returned to Uganda, cognizant of the reality that we would return to Cape Town for the surgery in six months. Recognizing that it does take a village to raise children and get the support needed for Sasha and themselves, Casey came up with the idea of “Team Sasha,” inspired by friends, family and groups, some of whom shared inspiring personal stories of their experiences with children with Down Syndrome and AVSD.
Team Sasha t-shirts were designed by Casey and the production and distribution of the shirts were taken on by Sean’s sister, Kerry, who lives in Gilroy. They were given to families who were encouraged to wear them on the date of Sasha’s surgery and to post pictures of them on Casey’s Facebook page. The pictures and shirts ultimately made their way to Cape Town in July to give comfort and inspiration to all of us.
What I think astonished all of us was the breadth and depth of support from the Gilroy community, many of whom didn’t know Sean and Casey. Local churches, among them St. Mary’s, South Valley and Gilroy Presbyterian, included Sasha in their prayers; First Street Coffee served customers in their “Team Sasha” t-shirts; a wide variety of bunco and golf groups and book clubs sent their well wishes, a tribute to this community.
Sasha’s surgery frightened us all, but she was fortunate to have the surgery done by Dr. Susan Vosloo at the Christian Bernard Hospital in Cape Town. Susan is the first female heart surgeon in Cape Town and had performed more than 7,000 previous surgeries.
Sasha responded well and we all saw the recovery she made over the 10 days following the surgery. The great care given by the staff at the hospital and the positive energy and prayers coming from so many individuals and groups all contributed to this beautiful result. We are grateful for the encouragement and Sean and Casey are committed to sharing their story and energizing the support for others who find themselves in similar situations. Let the music play on!
