I can’t stand my new co-worker, even though she seemed nice at
first. After only a few months, this woman is already trying to
take over. She constantly sucks up to our boss, so now he listens
to her instead of me.
Q:
I can’t stand my new co-worker, even though she seemed nice at first. After only a few months, this woman is already trying to take over. She constantly sucks up to our boss, so now he listens to her instead of me.
Whenever I talk about my personal life, she becomes very critical and starts telling me what to do. If I say I’m feeling bad, she will suddenly start acting sick. I enjoyed my job before she came, but now I hate it here. What should I do?
A:
There are many annoying people in the world, so you might as well learn how to deal with them. The secret is to focus on things you can control. You can’t change your colleague’s irritating personality, but you can control your attitude, your conversation and your relationship with your manager.
By allowing yourself to get so upset, you’re giving this woman a great deal of power over your feelings. Instead of reacting emotionally, simply view her as another work problem that must be managed.
One simple strategy is to limit your conversations to job-related topics. If you don’t like her judgmental comments, stop sharing information about your personal life. If she suddenly seems to catch every disease you mention, don’t tell her how you’re feeling.
Instead of fretting about her growing influence with your boss, focus on improving your own relationship with him. Do outstanding work, share helpful information and be consistently pleasant and cooperative. But don’t complain about your co-worker, because that will just make you look like a whiner.
Q:
One of my friends has had several interviews for counseling positions. Although she feels that they have gone well, she is never asked back for a second round.
My friend is well-qualified, has a master’s degree and presents herself very professionally. I’m afraid the problem may be her age (57) or the fact that she and her husband filed for bankruptcy last year. What do you think?
A:
Age and bad credit can certainly present barriers. However, applicants often attribute their lack of success to uncontrollable factors, when the real issue is substandard job-search skills.
If your friend is getting interviews, then her resume is working. But if she’s not being called back, her interview skills may be rusty. Older workers, in particular, need to do a bang-up job of selling themselves, since they must often overcome unfair age stereotypes.
Since counselors seldom deal directly with finances, credit problems should be less of an issue. Nevertheless, she would be wise to warn interviewers about what a background check may reveal. Negative information should never come as a surprise.
Encourage your friend to bone up on effective job search techniques, then help her practice by conducting mock interviews.
Since she can’t change her age or credit history, she needs to offset these obstacles by making a first-rate impression.
