Our human resources manager recently asked if I would be
interested in dating another employee who is also single.
Q:
Our human resources manager recently asked if I would be interested in dating another employee who is also single. I told her that I have no interest in asking this woman out. I am a mid-level manager in a small company, so having a social relationship at work would be very awkward.
It makes me uncomfortable that an HR person is trying to plan my social life. Should I tell management about this or just hope that the subject isn’t raised again?
A:
Your overly chummy HR manager clearly doesn’t understand the boundaries of her role. HR people should not pry into employees’ personal lives, much less encourage romantic encounters.
However, this matchmaker may not have a professional human resources background. In small companies, owners often designate an untrained but “people-friendly” employee to handle personnel tasks.
Relaying your concerns upward could put an end to the HR manager’s social engineering. On the other hand, if she’s well-connected politically, it might also harm your own career. So before lodging a complaint with management, weigh the benefits against the risks.
If you’re approached again, clearly state your position on workplace romance. For example: “I know that you’re trying to be helpful, but I have a personal policy against dating co-workers. I just don’t believe in mixing work with social relationships.” A firm refusal should dampen her desire to fix you up.
Q:
In the department I manage, we have recently experienced a sudden increase in turnover. What concerns me is that none of the supervisors knew that their employees were planning to leave.
I encourage supervisors to have monthly one-on-one meetings with employees, but this apparently isn’t working the way it should. What can we do to make people open up to management?
A:
You seem distressed that your former employees never confessed their desire to depart. But smart people don’t tell management when they’re considering other opportunities.
Instead of trying to ferret out secret job-search plans, you should determine what is motivating your employees to look elsewhere. For this purpose, you need some additional tools in your communication toolbox.
Continue the supervisory one-on-ones, but add quarterly skip-level meetings in which you talk with each employee individually. Even if people are cautious with their comments, you will have a firsthand opportunity to spot red flags.
During these conversations, employees may be willing to tell you why some staff members have chosen to leave. When people resign in the future, make it a practice to do exit interviews.
Finally, conduct an annual employee opinion survey using an outside vendor.
When people believe their responses are confidential, they tend to be more open and honest. Then, once you’ve diagnosed the reasons for turnover, you can start to develop realistic retention plans.
