Every Christian I know would like to fulfill the Bible’s
exhortation to
”
rejoice in the Lord always
”
(Philippians 4:4), but how can we rejoice when we are mired in a
life that is full of marital misunderstandings, parenting pains,
financial fixes and career crunches?
Every Christian I know would like to fulfill the Bible’s exhortation to “rejoice in the Lord always” (Philippians 4:4), but how can we rejoice when we are mired in a life that is full of marital misunderstandings, parenting pains, financial fixes and career crunches?
Most people I know in dilemmas like these don’t have the answer to that question, but because they want to appear to have it all together, they fake it. They pretend that their problems are insignificant. They wear a mask that hides their true emotions.
Some of you reading this article do that. But let me ask you: Do you ever get tired of pretending? Do you ever long to have others accept you for who you really are? Then take off your mask and be honest in three directions:
First, be honest with yourself. Refuse to deny the pains, frustrations and heartaches that are a part of every life. In John 16:33 Jesus said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
We rightfully focus on the last part of that verse, but we cannot ignore the first part: Trials and sorrows are basic facts of life. Pretending that we are not affected by them is deceitful, and thoughtlessly chanting, “Praise the Lord anyway,” is not being real. Move beyond hypocrisy by being honest with yourself.
Second, be honest with God. The Bible says that God detests lying, and if denying the reality of your pains and fears and doubts is not lying, what is it? If you think you must put on your “happy face” to talk with God, you are mistaken. He can handle your cries of pain and disappointment and doubt.
Some of us were taught that since God is holy and sovereign, we must just accept everything without asking questions. But look at what King David, a “man after God’s own heart,” says in Psalm 73: “I was envious of the prosperity of the proud and wicked. Yes, all through life their road is smooth. They aren’t always in trouble and plagued with problems like everyone else. They scoff at God and threaten His people. And so God’s people are dismayed and confused. Does God realize what is going on? Look at these arrogant people – enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply. Have I been wasting my time? Why take the trouble to be pure? All I get out of it is trouble and woe – every day and all day long!” (vv. 3-14).
David certainly did not hesitate to share his doubts and disappointments with God. And I’ve learned that these outpourings of frustration and anger are often necessary steps on the path toward healing and wholeness. When we pour out our hearts to God, when we empty ourselves of pent-up emotions and unanswered questions, it opens the way for insight and understanding.
Read the rest of Psalm 73, and you will see that after that outburst came a renewed perspective. When all the clutter of pain and anger was confessed, David was able to see the bigger picture. So will you.
The third aspect of honesty that needs to be incorporated in your life is in the area of transparency: Become willing to discuss your pain and your disappointments with someone else. Many times I’ve had someone approach me with tears in their eyes and tell me something they have never shared with anyone else. They share what happened and how they have been desperately trying to pretend it doesn’t matter. But when they are finished, an interesting thing happens. They say, “I don’t know why, but I feel better now.”
Why do we feel better? Because there is a healing power and release in sharing our grief that makes the burden seem lighter. This is why we are told to “share each other’s troubles and problems” (Galatians 6:2) and “speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
Take the time to look again at these three steps God wants you to take in the direction of honesty. I realize it may be a hard road to take, but God’s call to a life of rejoicing doesn’t mean a life of cheap slogans and bumper-sticker solutions. Joy and honesty come at a cost – particularly to your pride – but a life that is free from inner turmoil is worth the price.
Henry Harris is lead pastor of Rolling Hills Community Church, 330 Tres Pinos Road in Hollister. If you have questions or comments, please visit the church Web site at www.rollinghillsfamily.com, e-mail pa*********@ro****************.com or phone (831) 636-5353.
