So long to the lawn

Thanks to the serious drought in California, Harry and I are doing a bit of remodeling in our Gilroy backyard.
Yes, we are removing much of the water-hungry wasteland we like to call “lawn.”
This has caused mass confusion, panic and general havoc in our house. In the first place, I do not remodel. Ever. It’s not that I don’t enjoy a good remodel when it’s finished. I simply don’t enjoy a remodel when it’s occurring. It makes me crazy. Or as Harry puts it, “it makes me crazier.” Subtle difference but apparently important.
I know there are some people on this earth who are meant to remodel. I see them on HGTV and I always think, “I could do that.” And then I realize that no, I could not do that. The truth is, I love picking out new stuff. And I have finally mastered Pinterest and have many fantasy homes fully decorated and pinned. But construction makes me absolutely nuts.
This year, we took a good, hard look at the lush, green lawn and realized we don’t need it. It’s not like we have a 4-year-old prancing through who needs the lawn for cartwheels and tag. And we could use some more patio space. What we have is a bit tight and when people come over, they are squished onto a patio bordered by thorny rosebushes. I’m not saying people have complained, but it’s shocking how many of our friends don’t enjoy a good poking. Also? Nothing ruins a party like two people with rose thorns poking out of their bloody arms, arguing over who gets the last Batman Band-Aid. It’s worse than running out of the good tequila before 10 p.m.
So we replaced two-thirds of the lawn with pavers. It looks great and there’s more room, so I don’t have to try to corner the market on Batman Band-Aids. And we are doing our part to save water without foregoing showers, which benefits everyone in the long run.
Sadly, we forgot that the dogs used the section of lawn we removed as a bathroom. So the first couple days, they ran out of the house, stood where their majestic green toilet used to be and glared at me.
But after a couple of days, they finally realized they still had a green toilet—just not as majestic. And I’m slowly getting out of my construction-induced insanity as well. Of course it helps that I’m using the money I save on Band-Aids to stock up on the good tequila. We may not have much lawn, but we do have a ton of party space.
Laurie Sontag is a writer and mom. She lives with her family in Gilroy. Email her at

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