Club offers support to mothers of twins in the South Valley
n By Kelly Savio Staff Writer
Lori Rollins gets the celebrity treatment even though she’s never been in a movie, she isn’t married to someone famous, and she’s never held political office.
Lori gets the stares, the pointing and the random people approaching her with questions because she happens to be the mother of 14-month-old twins, Ashley and Conner.
This “celebrity treatment” is one of the first things Lori warns new moms of twins about at the Santa Clara County Mother of Twins Club.
“Whenever I go out with Conner and Ashley, I get million questions,” said Lori, a Gilroy resident. “People ask if they’re Siamese twins, if they’re identical, all kinds of things. Sometimes I want a sign on their stroller that says, ‘Yes, they’re fraternal twins named Conner and Ashley.’ I’ve gotten to the point where I try to avoid making eye contact with people. Anyway, I always ask the new moms in the club if they’ve gotten used to the celebrity treatment yet.”
The club, as the name suggests, caters to mothers of twins, offering everything from advice, hand-me-downs that come in pairs, and much-needed evenings out. Despite the name, however, members come from Hollister, Santa Cruz, Monterey, San Jose, Gilroy and countless other cities in the Bay Area. Lori joined the club when she was six months pregnant.
“The club is great – you get to hear everyone’s stories, you get tips on what to expect in the beginning, and you always have someone to call and freak out to,” Lori said, laughing. “We meet once a month, and we do about eight big activities a year, some with moms and kids, some with just moms. It won’t be long now and I’ll be going to the meetings with a million questions about potty training.”
Club president Melisa Miner, mother of 4-year-old fraternal twins Aaron and Brandon, said many mothers join the club when they’re pregnant and only stay through their children’s infancy, which she said most consider the hardest stage of raising twins. Her goal is to have moms stick with the club longer so the twins can have more play groups and the moms can pay forward all the helpful tips they got when they first joined the club.
“Aside from all the information sharing we do, I think club members are really good about reminding each other all the best parts of having twins,” Melisa said. “You can baby-proof everything at the same time, when they get older, you drop them off at the same school instead of having to drop one off and then drive across town to drop the other one off, and they certainly learn early on how to share and how to play.”
Speakers come to many of the club’s monthly meetings, talking to members about everything from how to keep a marriage fresh when you have children to how to throw a great birthday party to how to keep kids entertained on road trips.
June’s meeting was held at Dream Dinners in San Jose because one of the club’s moms tried out the business, liked it and thought other moms would benefit from the service, too. Dream Dinners, a business similar to the Dinner A’Fare in Morgan Hill, gets ingredients ready for 12 different family meals so customers only need to come in, put the meals together and package them. Clearly, just having to heat a meal rather than prepare it from scratch can be extremely helpful to mothers of twins.
Snippets of conversation at the June meeting went something like this:
“How’s it going?”
“Oh, pretty crazy.”
“Sounds about right. Now, which do you have?”
“I have two boys, identical, and I’m just trying to drop their nap from their schedule.”
“Oh, wow. I have a boy and a girl, but they aren’t ready to drop their nap yet.”
Club moms are also great about busting myths and breaking stereotypes that surround twins.
Obviously, both Melisa and Lori’s children don’t fall into the stereotype of having twins with similar names such as Aaron and Adam or Ashley and Alan.
“People think they must be very similar, but Conner is very much a little boy – crazy and destructive – and Ashley is very much a little girl – dainty and a princess,” Lori said. “They started walking at different times; they get their teeth at different times. The only stereotype they really fall under is my fault. I’m one of those twin moms that likes to dress them alike. If he’s in green, she’s in green, and so on.”
Melisa said her twins are very different, too. They didn’t potty train at the same rate; they have different favorite toys; and Aaron is the sensitive thinker while Brandon is the fearless athlete. At a recent swimming lesson, Brandon happily dunks his whole head under the water while Aaron is hesitant about just putting his nose under to blow bubbles for the teacher.
“One of the big misconceptions about twins is that they’re so hard to raise, but I think it’s all a matter of perspective,” Melisa said. “As a twin mom, I think to myself, ‘Oh, my gosh, I can’t imagine being the mother of triplets,’ or I think about how hard it would be to be a single mom. Yes, having twins can be hard, but it’s not impossible.”
