Alfred and Maxine Settrini love each other so much, they married
three times. Alfred, 93, and Maxine, 88, renewed their vows
Thursday
– for the second time – in front of friends and family at their
70th wedding anniversary party at The Westside Grill in Gilroy. The
couple had previously renewed their vows 58 years ago at St. Mary’s
Catholic Church after being married in 1940.
Alfred and Maxine Settrini love each other so much, they married three times. Alfred, 93, and Maxine, 88, renewed their vows Thursday – for the second time – in front of friends and family at their 70th wedding anniversary party at The Westside Grill in Gilroy. The couple had previously renewed their vows 58 years ago at St. Mary’s Catholic Church after being married in 1940.
As a 22-year-old, Alfred was stationed with the U.S. Cavalry at the Presidio of Monterey when he first saw 17-year-old Maxine at the Pacific Grove Public Library.
“The first night, he kept looking at me. I had my studies and was doing homework at the library,” Maxine said. “The second night, he was there again. He picked out a book behind where I was sitting and sat down next to me. I told him, ‘Well, you finally made it.’ ”
Maxine said Alfred had picked up a book on how to become a father. “That didn’t help,” joked Alfred. Later that night, Alfred walked Maxine to her Pacific Grove home, two blocks away.
About a year later, Alfred and Maxine were married Dec. 9, 1940 in San Francisco by a nondenominational minister. The couple was married at the minister’s house with only the minister and the minister’s wife present.
Maxine said she loved everything about Alfred, and that they have been in love a long time. Some years were harder than others. Alfred went overseas to France and Algiers during World War II, separating the married couple.
Without Alfred, Maxine was fortunate to have her sister Dorothy, who was also her sister-in-law. Dorothy’s husband – Alfred’s brother Emil – had also gone off to war, and the two sisters lived together while their husbands were away.
During that time, Maxine and Alfred sent letters back and forth. Maxine sent him news of his newborn daughter, Barbara, whom Alfred would meet two years later when he returned home.
Alfred grew up in Gilroy on a cattle ranch. After the war he returned to Gilroy with his family. Alfred worked as a carpenter while Maxine stayed home with their three children. As the children got older, Maxine worked at a Gilroy cannery as a lab technician.
What’s the secret to being married 70 years? Perhaps the secret is taking care of one another, according to Maxine’s sister, Joanne Clement.
Clement said the couple treated each other well. Maxine cooked traditional Italian dinners for Alfred, while he planted flower and vegetable gardens for Maxine.
“He never tells people how much he loves her. But he did all the yard work, all the time,” Clement said.
The couple managed not only to take care of each other, but also a large family. Alfred and Maxine have three children, nine grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren and 11 great-great-grandchildren.
Alfred and Maxine’s grandson, Brian Gambero, said his grandparents have always been just as strong an influence as his mother and father. Brian said his grandparents’ successful marriage inspires him in his own marriage.
“I’m learning that family’s a big word,” said Gambero, who has been married five years and has two children.
Tom Lucido, Alfred and Maxine’s nephew, said the couple helped care for him and his four siblings after their father died.
“When Dad passed away in 1957, we lived in Monterey. Alfred and Maxine took over. They would pick us up and take us to the beach or the Asilomar or the wharf where we’d watch the fisherman cut the fish open.”
Lucido’s mother, Clement, said the two families spent a lot of time together.
“Alfred kept us laughing,” said Clement.
One day she asked Alfred to get rid of a couch she no longer had room for. Alfred told Clement he took care of it. In a way, he did.
“Alfred dug a ditch as big as the couch, and buried it in the back yard,” she said.
Besides their family, Alfred and Maxine cared for other children in the community. Luke Corona, Gambero’s childhood friend, said Alfred and Maxine would show up to his and their grandson’s football games when the boys were 10 years old.
“They would travel anywhere just to watch us. They’d travel up and down the state,” said Corona. “Even when we were in Fresno or Bakersfield we always knew there was someone in the stands rooting for us.”
Alfred and Maxine also came to Corona’s wrestling matches in high school and junior college.
After Alfred and Maxine retired, they returned to supporting local sports teams. For years, Alfred and Maxine supported the Gilroy High School softball team. Avid fans, the couple attended every out of town game the team had. The athletes knew Alfred and Maxine by name.
The party, thrown by their daughter Sandy Settrini, was attended by almost 40 people.
Alfred and Maxine’s pastor, Edward Fitz-Henry, performed Thursday’s ceremony.
“Couples need to remember why they made a commitment and stick to it. I think a lot of people have trouble with that nowadays,” Fitz-Henry said. “Today is a family celebration, but it really should be a community celebration because it’s something to learn after.”
After renewing their vows, Maxine told family and friends their secret. She said the secret of their long marriage was to love each other every day.
During their marriage, Maxine and Alfred rarely argued, but if they did quarrel, it ended quickly. “Alfred would run outside the house and make faces through the window and then we would laugh,” said Maxine.
Maxine knows how the couple stayed together 70 years.
“Love, that’s about all I know,” Maxine said.
